I am happy to announce that we have established a new Youtube Channel and that our first video features my colleague, dually licensed Counselor and Art Therapist Lauren Fallat. Lauren provides an Intro to Art Therapy. You can see it here (below) as well as on our Art Therapy website, our Holistic Health Counseling Center website, or on Youtube. Here’s the links:
Our Art Therapy website: https://www.arttherapynj.com/videos
Our Holistic Health Counseling Center Website: https://holistichealthcounselingcenter.com/our-new-youtube-channel/
Youtube: https://youtu.be/KQTXpUPOqBw
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Although Art Therapy has been around for many years, it is finally gaining recognition as an important, valuable, and effective therapy. It is cutting edge and studies show that it actually helps children, teens, and adults with a wide range of issues.
To help people understand what it is and how it can help you, we recently launched a new website dedicated to Art Therapy. My colleague at Holistic Health Counseling Center, Lauren Fallat, is a talented Psychotherapist and Board Certified Art Therapist.
Lauren has written many excellent articles on Art Therapy for the new website. Be sure to check it out. Topics include: How it works, what to expect, art therapy with children, teens, adults, art therapy materials, and so much more.
To learn more about Art Therapy and how it may help you or your family member: https://www.arttherapynj.com/
To learn more about Lauren: Meet Lauren Fallat, MA LPC ATR-BC
For more about Holistic Health Counseling Center: https://holistichealthcounselingcenter.com/
The New Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can be reached at 988. CALL THEM if you feel you might harm yourself. Put the number in your phone.
Check out the blog I wrote on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Holistic Health Counseling Center-Dial 988
A lot has been written about having a positive outlook. But what does that really mean? In the midst of the stress of everyday life and turmoil and tragedies of the world, it may sound like a difficult thing to have. There is much to be gained from learning how to be more positive.
For some people, negative thinking is their default way of approaching life. There are many who don’t see themselves as negative, but they believe themselves to be “realistic.” But negative thinking has a negative impact upon their health, and can sometimes become a self-fulfilling prophesy. They are often unaware of how their negative thinking has become habitual. Negative thinking affects self confidence and relationships. It is hard to live with someone who is a negative thinkers.
Working with a psychotherapist, one can develop awareness and insight to what underlies negative thinking. One can also learn how to develop more balanced, and positive attitudes. The impact upon self esteem, confidence, and relationships can be amazing.
If you would like to develop a more positive attitude or if you live with a negative thinker, it can be helpful to learn effective ways of coping with them. Please give us a call or send an email. We will be happy to discuss with you how we may work together. To schedule an appointment, please click on the Book Now button.
Please check out the recent blog on Positive Thinking on my Counseling Center website: How to be More Positive and this one 5 Ways to Stop Worrying
In a new blog on my group practice website (see link below), we talk about Stress Relief found in Nature. For those with allergies, Nature likely causes more stress than it relieves during certain times of the year.
At this time of the year, a lot of high school and college students come to us for help because they are stressed out, burned out, and desperately trying to get to the end of the semester and school year in one piece. Final exams, projects due, and sagging grades cause a great deal of stress and anxiety. Students usually understand that they need to learn better stress management techniques. They just don’t know how to break out of the patterns they find themselves in.
We find that students usually have very disrupted sleep. They don’t get enough rest, may be subsisting on a poor diet, and some are smoking too much cannabis (which for may relieve stress, but can be un-motivating), or drinking too much.
In therapy we look at what their stressors and self care routines have been. Typically, as stress levels went up, self care routines were disrupted and minimized. We focus on learning how to maintain balance, right the ship, and prioritize better.
Increasing awareness of how we are managing and prioritizing our responsibilities is essential. Establishing sustainable self care routines that include getting enough sleep, eating in a healthier way, maintaining some physical activity, and balancing social activities and substance intake (or in some cases, providing substance abuse interventions).
If you or your high school or college student family member is struggling with maintaining balance and managing stress, please give us a call or send an email to learn how we may be of assistance. (908-857-4422 or info@hhccnj.com).
Click on the Book Now button to schedule an appointment. In addition to psychotherapy, we also offer Art Therapy. Art Therapy is a very effective stress intervention and is a creative way to process emotions, reduce stress, and increase self awareness. For information on Art Therapy and our Professional Counselor and Art Therapist, Lauren Fallat, LPC ATR-BC see here: Art Therapy is Medicine and here: Art Therapy
We have lots of information on stress management on our websites:
See here: Nature and Stress Relief found on our Holistic Health Counseling Center website
and here: Stressed? Some Simple Things Can Help
and here: How to Breathe for Stress Relief on our Telehealth website
Are you a person who has had some positive experiences in talk therapy but can’t seem to convince your partner or other family member to try therapy? Sometimes it’s because they don’t see the point of talking with a stranger, other times it is because they are not very good at talking about themselves or their feelings. I recommend Art Therapy for everyone, but it can often be helpful for people who don’t like the idea of talk therapy or haven’t found it helpful. Or even if they feel there are things they just can’t articulate. Art Therapy is a creative, interactive type of therapy where with guidance from the Art Therapist, you are able to access, express, and process complex emotions. It is safe and effective and fun.
Art therapy is very helpful with grief and depression as well as ADHD (helps with concentration and focus), and anxiety. Teens and college students find it gives them inspiration and helps them to creatively work through their emotions. Studies show it is helpful for a wide range of issues for all ages.
In the past, I would have cases that I felt would greatly benefit from a combined approach of art therapy and psychotherapy. I would search to find independent Art Therapists to refer people to, but they are a rare find here in New Jersey. When I opened Holistic Health Counseling Center, it was a goal to find a good Art Therapist to invite to join our Staff.
I am very pleased to say that I not only found a great Art Therapist, but I found one who is experienced as a licensed professional counselor and Art Therapist. Lauren Fallat, LPC ATR-BC will be joining me in June. The good news is that it is possible to book an appointment with her now for June. If you or a family member are in need of therapy sooner, I will be happy to provide psychotherapy until your first appointment with Lauren, who can do both psychotherapy and Art therapy with you.
To schedule an appointment with Lauren, Professional Counselor and Art Therapist, please click on the Book Now button, and then Lauren Fallat as the therapist. Then you may select the day and time that works best for you. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to give me a call or send an email (908-857-4422 or info@hhccnj.com). Please also check out our website: https://holistichealthcounselingcenter.com/
Lauren Fallat, LPC ATR-BC Licensed Professional Counselor & Art Therapist
See the latest blog on Mental Health Care on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Your Mental Health Care
Check out Lauren’s blogs on our Art Therapy website: https://www.arttherapynj.com/blog
This Fall, perhaps even more than last Fall, people are experiencing quite a bit of anxiety. Adults, teens, college students, and young children all seem to be feeling anxious. One of the things I have noticed is that while most people are going outdoors, they are not paying attention to what they are seeing and experiencing there: The clouds in the sky, the color of the leaves, the scents of Autumn, birds calling, and the breezy fresh air. As the days get shorter, the sunlight has a distinctly sharper look to it. Studies show that spending time outdoors is incredibly good for your physical and mental well being. But to really benefit from being outside, take a moment to really notice what is happening in Nature. Amidst the clouds you might see hawks migrating, or on a sunny day, you might see them circling, as they ride warm thermals in the air. Have you ever noticed that no matter what is going on in your life, good or bad, the sun still rises, birds still sing, the wind still blows, and the weather and seasons change. There is some comfort to be found in that. If you are experiencing anxiety and feel stuck, or are having trouble coping with it, you might find it helpful to speak with a professional who can teach you effective coping strategies as well as help you identify what is causing the anxiety. To schedule an appointment, please click on the “Book Now” on the right.
Are you feeling more stressed or anxious than usual? It seems many people are. Kids are still having a difficult time adjusting to their return to school with regular school hours and homework. Adults are feeling stressed over their jobs, stress at home, and more. Some simple things can help alleviate some of the stress. Going outdoors even for just a few minutes can help if you really look around you–notice the clouds in the sky, listen to bird song, feel the presence of the trees, and the sun or wind on your face. Exercise, even if just a walk, can really elevate one’s mood. If you feel you are having trouble managing your stress yourself you may benefit from talking with a professional. You can schedule an appointment by clicking on the Book Now button on the right -underneath the photo of me and my dog. I will do my very best to be of assistance.
See Dr. Marion’s blog on Stress and Anxiety on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Are You Stressed Out?
See the recent blog on Online Dating
If you are struggling with change see this article on How to Navigate Change
To learn about Social Anxiety, the most common anxiety disorder, on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Social Anxiety 101
Here we are nearing the end of 2021, and we are still doing Telehealth? I would estimate that 90% of people who call or email for information either prefer Telehealth or don’t mind it. The other 10% ask me why we are still doing Telehealth. It is a reasonable question! Just about everything has opened up, so why not therapy?
There is some confusion over which guidelines apply to therapy. What most people don’t realize is that CDC and State of NJ have provided guidelines regarding in person psychotherapy that are not the same as the general guidelines for the public and for retail stores and corporate workplaces. We are advised to “use Telehealth whenever possible.” With psychotherapy, Telehealth is always possible. The guidelines also call for mask and shield wearing for both therapist and client–this is not feasible for psychotherapy, as well as other requirements.
So we continue to offer Telehealth until we are advised it is safe and practical to meet in person. While I understand how tired you, your spouse, and your kids are of staring at a computer screen, there are some surprising advantages to Telehealth that many people do not realize until they try it. There is no rush or pressure to get to an office–no worries about traffic or bad weather. No concerns over your teenager driving to my office or missing a session–they can have their session from their phone (which most teens seem to prefer) from their room, from a park, in the car in . Kids enjoy showing me their room, or introducing their pets, and are MUCH more relaxed in their own environment. Most people seem more relaxed at home during their sessions.
For those who don’t have a private place in their home to have their session, sitting in the car in the driveway or park parking lot has worked quite well. There are some folks who like to have their session on the phone while taking a walk. Since many people are still working from home, there is more flexibility with scheduling appointments and they are able to meet earlier in the day then they could before COVID. I work with many college students who are attending school here in New Jersey. I have been virtually “inside” many college dorms and apartments. Students enjoy showing me their dorm rooms and occasionally introducing their roommates to me. Before COVID, they were unable to come to my office for their sessions and I would only see them during the Summer or Winter Break. As you likely know, most college students and teens do not like talking on the phone. So Telehealth has worked out quite well for them.
To be honest, I really miss seeing people in person. I miss showing them into the therapy room, offering them a bottle of water, and helping them feel welcome and comfortable. We definitely will get back to that at some point, but it just isn’t yet. For now, in compliance with the guidelines, I will continue with Telehealth, but I am working on opening an integrative health counseling center in 2022: Holistic Health Counseling Center- for Mind Body Wellness. So there is much to look forward to!
If you suffer from tinnitus, or “ringing in your ears,” then you probably have been told or have read that there is “no cure.” Tinnitus is an annoying, sometimes alarming, ringing in your ears that is often caused by exposure to loud noise and/or hearing loss from an illness. And it affects people of all ages. If you have ringing in your ears or are hearing some other type of sound and have not seen an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist (ENT) or an audiologist, I strongly recommend that you make an appointment to see one to have your hearing and tinnitus evaluated.
My own diagnosis of tinnitus has led me to learn about effective treatments and helpful life style changes. I probably have had a low level of tinnitus for many years, but did not realize what I was hearing was not what everyone else hears. It became noticeable to me at a holiday family gathering. Sitting in the dining room with my extended family, I stopped the conversation to ask if anyone knew what “that sound” was coming from-was it the refrigerator? To my surprise, no one but me heard it.
After an evaluation by an ENT and tests by an audiologist, I was diagnosed with tinnitus and minor hearing loss. The hearing loss likely came from listening to podcasts and music through air pods. (I have retired the air pods and bought safer “on the ear” (as opposed to “over the ear”) headphones to use with sound therapy. Yes, sound THERAPY for tinnitus. There are helpful treatments and there is HOPE.
Interestingly, although tinnitus often starts with damage to one’s hearing (exposure to loud noise, etc), or other health problems (e.g., Meniere’s Disease), the problem itself is actually one caused by the brain. With hearing loss, the brain searches for sounds the ear no longer perceives and when it does not find those sounds, it generates them.
What I initially learned about tinnitus was not encouraging: there’s no cure. While that may be the case, there are many effective treatments that can significantly reduce the symptoms and intrusive nature of tinnitus. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a treatment that studies show helps with tinnitus symptom management and improves the overall distress one experiences.
It is extremely important that you do what you can to learn more about tinnitus, treatment options, and develop your own plan to help you cope with the annoying symptoms and improve your quality of life.
I treat tinnitus with CBT and an integrative approach to symptom management and relief. In addition, I have compiled a list of resources, including helpful apps and programs to use as part of a comprehensive treatment plan to help you better manage your symptoms and actually find relief. One major resource for information and resources is the American Tinnitus Association. I highly recommend the ATA.
If you are suffering from tinnitus or ringing in the ears, you can absolutely do things to improve your situation. Do not lose hope or suffer needlessly. I would welcome the opportunity to work with you to develop an individualized treatment program for you, including CBT, to help you find some genuine relief. You can schedule an appointment by clicking on the “Book Now” icon seen on the right or on the upper left. I can be reached at drmarion@drmarionrollings.com and 908-500-7295
Please visit Dr. Marion’s Tinnitus website: https://www.helpfortinnitus.com/
Although things are opening up, anxiety levels are not going down. I am getting a lot of calls from people who are relieved to hear I am offering counseling and psychotherapy by video or phone. Telehealth continues to be the safest way to engage in therapy during this coronavirus pandemic. And it’s so easy-click on a link I send you and it brings you to a secure video platform. If you are suffering from anxiety, depressed moods, frustration, worry, or just are tired of trying to figure things out yourself, please consider talking with a professional. I provide individual, couples and family therapy via Telehealth to adults, children, teens, and college students. I will do my very best to help you learn effective coping strategies and work through issues with communication, school, relationships, stress, anger, and more. Cosmo, the Timneh African grey parrot pictured with me will sometimes join a session (kids especially love him).
Covid-19 has disrupted so many things in our lives. It’s essential to have access to the mental health care services you need. With Telehealth, services are available to you in the privacy of your home, car, or wherever you are.
The easiest way to book an appointment is to click on the “Book Now” icon on the right, underneath the photo of me and my dog. There you will find my availability for the next two months and you can at your convenience select the time and day that works best for you. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to call or email me at 908-500-7295 or DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com
Naturally, during this challen
Many therapists are offering phone or video sessions via HIPAA compliant video platforms that are safe and reliable. With Teletherapy (Telehealth), you are able to literally see your therapist from the comfort and safety of your home or office. No worries about catching anything, traveling in bad weather, being stuck in traffic, etc.
Following the outbreak and spread of the COVID-19, I started offering phone and video sessions to all of my patients. There is the obvious reason that we all want to be safe and avoid becoming infected and spreading the virus.
Teletherapy is a great way to see your therapist without any worries over potential exposure to any illnesses, like COVID-19 or the Flu, Strep Throat, etc.
If you are experiencing anxiety or having other issues that you would like to talk over with a psychotherapist, please contact me to discuss if Teletherapy is an option for you. If you reside in New Jersey, the State of Florida, or certain parts of the world outside of the United States, we may be able to work together. I may be reached at DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295. To Book an Appointment Now, click on the Book Now button on the right, underneath the photo of me and my dog or up top on the left.
Many parents seek my advice on how to handle their child’s use of technology-social media, video games, online gaming, YouTube viewing, texting, etc. One area they often miss are apps. Parents are often unaware that within many game and social media apps, there are texting and group messaging options that allow anyone to contact their child.
My stance on child technology use, whether it be gaming, texting, YouTube viewing or any other situation where your child is engaging with a phone, computer, or game, is that social and leisure technology use is an earned privilege, not a right. Children, including adolescents and teens, not only need to earn the privilege to use technology, they need to accept that their parents will be monitoring their use. In the same way that we teach them safe and appropriate use of other things in life, we need to provide guidance to children on how to best use and navigate technology. Sexual predators are very up to date on technology and know exactly how to find vulnerable children.
The New York Times published a great article on this. You might need a Times subscription to see it but I will post the link below. One of the recommended resources is Common Sense Media. I cannot stress enough how important it is that parents monitor and protect their children. No matter how smart and mature your children might be, sexual predators are manipulative and motivated to find them.
If you would like professional support and assistance in working with your child on monitoring, setting limits and establishing rules surrounding your child’s technology use and online presence, click on the Book Now button to schedule a time to meet with me. It may be helpful to include a resisting teenager or computer addicted child in some sessions to help them accept and understand the need for any changes you institute with them.
Times article is here: Protect Your Children From Online Sexual Predators
For more about children, see this recent article on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Is your child unhappy?
And more on Therapy for Children here: Therapy for Children
One Summer when I was about 12, I took a book out of the library about Handwriting Analysis. I was very interested in learning how to analyze my own and other people’s handwriting. I was fascinated by the notion that one can learn about an individual’s personality by analyzing their handwriting. Fast forward many years later, and here I am, once again, studying handwriting analysis-also known as Graphology. In my psychotherapy practice, I don’t do psychological testing (I find it boring but know a few psychologists who like it and do it well so I refer to them). I do occasionally pull out the Rorschach, which is a projective test, or I may ask a child patient to draw me their house and/or their family so that I can interpret their drawings. I also do quite a bit of Dream Analysis. I not only interpret dreams that my patients have, but I also teach them how to do it for themselves. I use an integrative approach that is strongly Jungian (although I am trained in several modalities, including Freudian and Gestalt).
I have long been interested in using projective and fun techniques to help people gain insight and understanding of what underlies their behavior, thoughts, and relationship patterns. Although for the most part, children are no longer taught cursive writing, most adults can read and write cursive. Even though so much of our lives are digitalized and electronic, there are many times we need to hand write notes, sign documents, jot down a post it, or even write out a card, thank you note, or letter.
There are distinct psychological benefits to handwriting. Studies show that when we take notes by writing them out manually (as opposed to typing them on a laptop or tablet), we assimilate the information better and experience improved recall. Neurologically, there are significant gains in eye-hand coordination when we practice hand writing.
Your signature and your handwriting are personal expressions of who you are. Have you ever thought about why you write your name the way you do? Have you ever noticed how some people slant their handwriting, write ornately, use pressure when they write, or have very creative or illegible handwriting?
After years of writing in charts, my handwriting was terrible. When electronic health records became a thing, I no longer had that excuse. But nonetheless, my handwriting was terrible. So I started studying calligraphy–for the sole reason of improving my handwriting. I also noticed that I write better with certain pens-especially fountain pens. So I went on eBay and bought a bunch of inexpensive pens. I recommend buying a beautiful journal and a nice pen or two where you can jot down or draw dreams, doodle, keep notes, whatever you want to do. Although I am all for using Alexa, Siri, and other artificial intelligence options to help me with reminders, keeping my shopping list, and more, there’s a pure pleasure involved with writing things down. Try it, I think you will see what I mean.
One of the things I am planning to add to my patient intake paperwork is a request for a writing sample. I think most people will be interested in this unique way of gaining insight and understanding of themselves. Handwriting analysis is something I will be incorporating into my work.
If you would like to schedule an appointment to meet with me, please click on the “Book Now” button, which will take you to my client portal. There you will see my availability in both offices for the next two months. You will be able to select the date and time that works best for you.
If you would like more information about handwriting analysis, check out these two professional organizations:
American Association of Handwriting Analysts (AAHA)
American Handwriting Analysis Foundation (AHAF)
If you suffer from stomach issues, particularly Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), a recent study showed that IBS symptoms were more “drastically improved” by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) than conventional medical treatment of medication and dietary changes. The study subjects were long term (10 to 15 year) sufferers of IBS. This is not surprising, when you consider that there are about 500 million neurons in the gut (the Enteric Nervous System). So clearly they play a role in stomach and gut health and healing. Many medical conditions are improved by Psychotherapy-Sleep issues, migraines, high blood pressure, back problems, and more. The Mind-Body Connection is strong and when we work with that connection, we are tapping into our potential for natural, innate healing and well being. While positive thinking has tremendous benefits for both mental and medical issues, talking about your issues, learning coping strategies, gaining perspective, and receiving unconditional support can help you work with the mind and body for maximal overall health. If you or someone you know is suffering from IBS or a health issue, or just would like to learn more about how to work with the Mind-Body Connection, please give me a call, send me an email, or schedule an appointment (just click on the “Book Now” button to see my availability for the next two months in both offices.
Photo by ipet photo on Unsplash
A recent article talked about the importance of having friends and acquaintances and their impact upon one’s mental health and well being. Countless studies have demonstrated the importance of friendship. While periods of solitude are normal and healthy, isolation is harmful and deleterious to one’s physical and psychological health.
Not to sound silly, but I think dogs seem to understand this. Have you ever watched dogs when they meet their friends? Whether it be people or other dogs, they are typically overjoyed. And it’s contagious.
If you or a loved one struggle with making or maintaining friendships, or feel awkward in social situations, please give me a call or email me to discuss how I may help you work through those issues and learn effective coping strategies that will enable you to develop confidence in social situations and form new, healthy friendships and make more acquaintances. I can be reached at DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295.
The New York Times Smarter Living column did a great job of expanding on the topic of the value of casual friendships and acquaintances. Find the article here: Why You Need Casual Friendships
The Muse is an Affordable Neurofeedback Headband
Meditation using The Muse has been shown to reduce anxiety. So I have been trying it out myself and have introduced it to patients who have expressed an interest in meditation to try in session. The demo meditation is only three minutes but even in three minutes one can calm the mind. Less time even, once you are used to how the mind works. The Muse is just one of many options and interventions I offer patients to help them overcome anxiety and depressed mood. I keep a spare Muse headband in my office for people to try out in the office during their sessions. Another option I offer is access to EngageBH by NeuroFlow, which is a very helpful app you can work with between sessions. It provides space to journal, record daily moods and sleep patterns, guided meditation, breathing to relax, and biometric biofeedback. If you are interested in trying any of these technologies, please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how we can work together. You can start the New Year off with new and effective coping strategies and a more peaceful state of mind.
Views of Client Dashboard in EngageBH app
For a recent article on breathing techniques see here: 3 Breathing Techniques to Help you Relax
See also a recent blog on how to feel better now: Feel Better
I have started working with the neurofeedback headband called The Muse. I tried it out on my family over the Thanksgiving holiday and was very happy with its ease of use and the potential benefits from using it. The family liked it a lot. What I like about it, is that it can be used at home for as little as 3 minutes a day (or longer if you wish) to learn meditation, calm down, and learn how to relax. I have a demo Muse headband that I use with patients who would like to try it in my office. So far, it is very popular with the ones who have tried it.
There are reams of data demonstrating the positive effects of meditation upon health. Most people express an interest in meditating, but say they don’t know how, don’t have the time, etc. I teach meditation to patients all the time. I am excited about the potential help The Muse can be for those who are suffering from anxiety and depression. It’s fun and easy to use and since it is a form of biofeedback, it provides you with immediate information about your current state of relaxation. When you first put on the headband, you position it so that all of the brain wave sensors have optimal contact with your head. Then, you are guided to sit and relax with eyes closed while The Muse calibrates (which is very brief). After calibration is complete, you start a three minute meditation by again closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. After I explain and introduce the neurofeedback system to you and set you up with the headband and app, you are guided by the Muse app. I usually leave the room for the three minutes. The Muse app provides real time feedback about how relaxed you are via nature sounds. So initially, you might hear stormy weather, but as you relax and stay focused on your breathing, the storm calms and you will begin to hear gentle wind and birds calling. As you get distracted the weather becomes more agitated. You learn how to calm your mind literally by bringing your attention to your breathing and hearing the calming of the nature sounds. When you hear the nature sounds calm, then you know you have successfully calmed your mind. Once the three minute session has ended, I come back in the room and we go over your experience together, using the data The Muse provides as well as your experience meditating.
Neurofeedback with The Muse is now another option I use in psychotherapy. I like to have options to offer my patients so they can select what they feel will be of most help to them. I do make recommendations but it is ultimately always up to the individual.
If you are interested in learning more about how together we could use The Muse and neurofeedback in therapy or would like to come in and try it out, you can make an appointment by clicking on the “Book Now” button. You may also send me an email (drmarion@drmarionrollings.com) or give me a call (908) 500-7295.
For more information about The Muse, visit the website at www.ChooseMuse.com
The Muse Headband
Brain Wave Data
Wishing you a Happy & Peaceful Thanksgiving
As the holiday season is about to begin with Thanksgiving, I think it is helpful to remind ourselves what it’s really all about. It’s so easy to get caught up in the fun stuff like the food, shopping, decorating, drinking, and partying. And then there’s the not so fun stuff like family feuding, financial stress, overindulgence, and for some, loneliness and depressed mood. While most people seem to be able to get into the spirit of the holiday, there are many who feel Thanksgiving is just the beginning of a long, lonely, and unhappy season.
I often encourage patients to engage in keeping a Gratitude Journal. The ones who have tried it, have reported success in altering their mood and in general feel less gloomy. I think a simple Gratitude Journal has the potential to bring into focus what really matters and what is actually going well that we have gratitude for. This article provides some great information on how to get the most out of gratitude journaling: Tips for Keeping a Gratitude Journal
I have to give full credit to the folks at NeuroFlow for inspiring this post and for providing the link to the article. This morning I was reading the most recent NeuroFlow email and the topic was Gratitude Journaling.
I offer EngageBH by NeuroFlow to my patients as a way for them to manage their emotions, track mood and sleep patterns, journal, and use audio and video relaxation techniques such as meditation, breathing, and more. It’s very popular with my patients. In session we go over what their sleep and mood patterns have been, any journal entries they might have shared with me, questionnaires they may have completed, etc. It gives both me and the individual a clearer picture of what is going on between sessions. To learn more about EngageBH by NeuroFlow check out my blog: NeuroFlow: Daily Mental Health Help Option. And their website at: NeuroFlow
if you or someone you know is having difficulty this holiday season, please give me a call at 908-500-7295 or send me an email at DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com so we can discuss how we can work together to help get you through the holiday season and maybe even make this a better time for you. You can also schedule an appointment now by clicking on the “Book Now” button, where you will see my availability for the next two months and schedule a time that works best for you at your convenience.
Living in noisy New Jersey, we are exposed to a lot of sound-some of which is noise. But what about sound that is healing? Music can be very therapeutic and healing. Studies show that listening to Mozart can be as effective as a benzodiazepine before surgery. Tibetan Singing Bowls are an example of a very old type of Sound Healing. And they are fun! Not everyone has a singing bowl but there are apps that actually mimic them as well as sound tracks that do. If you don’t have access to one or aren’t interested in them, I recommend that you make a playlist of uplifting music. Listen to your playlist when you are having a hard time. It can help. If you find that you continue to have a difficult time and your usual coping strategies aren’t helping, please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how we might work together. You can also schedule an appointment on my website by clicking on the “Book Now” button
Tibetan Singing Bowl
After months of research (several years actually), I have finally found a professional mental health app I can offer to my patients that provides them with some important and helpful therapeutic options between sessions. NeuroFlow offers daily mood, stress, and sleep tracking, guided meditations, a nice breathing guide for when you are stressing out, simple homework assignments such as questionnaires and worksheets, and a nice journaling option that patients can either share with me or keep completely private and invisible to me. The app also offers a simple biometrics measure that is interesting to play with. There is an advanced Neurofeedback option using The Muse neaurofeedback headband that I am considering offering. I will be working with The Muse 2 myself and experimenting with my family over the holidays to see if I think it is a viable option to offer patients. I generally don’t offer things like this unless I have tried it out myself and done substantial research on.
Another nice feature in the NeuroFlow app is the Resource section where it lists the Suicide Prevention Hotline, the Crisis Text hotline, and more. It’s very helpful to have that contact information in an easy to find spot.
So far, NeuroFlow is very popular with my teen and young adult patients. Parents like that I am offering a tech option that teens can easily use on their phones.
I offer NeuroFlow at no extra charge to my patients. It is encrypted and HIPAA compliant. In Therapy sessions, we review together their entries. The information gleaned from their NeuroFlow entries helps me better individualize treatment for the each person.
I really like working with this company. They respond quickly to my questions and are very interested in my suggestions for things I would like to see the app do.
So far, NeuroFlow has been a valuable addition to my Practice. I offer it to my patients as an option to use if they find it helpful. It can easily be deleted at any time.
Please give me a call or send me an email to learn more about how I integrate NeuroFlow into my work with patients as well as what other things I am working on to provide my patients with the most optimal therapy experience, incorporating cutting edge HIPAA compliant technology DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295
Check out NeuroFlow: http://www.neuroflowsolution.com/
Should your child or teenager have chores? This topic is often a source of disagreement and conflict between parents. Many parents feel that the child’s job is school. Other parents feel that kids should have chores to help out in the household. I generally recommend that all children and adolescents have some responsibility around the house. And I don’t necessariky mean keep their rooms clean. Of course, we would all love it if kids kept their personal space neat and clean, but I am more interested in general chores around the house. What I am completely against is placing full pet care responsibility on a child or teen. I have heard way too many times of a neglected yet beloved companion animal who is never walked, misses being fed, litter box is not cleaned, etc. If a parent wants to involve a child in pet care, I strongly recommend they closely supervise the child/teen.
Having chores teaches kids responsibility, privudes then with skills, and makes them less self-centered. It can also be self-esteem enhancing. There is one caveat though: Occasionaly, I meet a parent who expects too much of their kids. Kids should not be expected to take on adult responsibilities nor are they servants.
If you would like some tips on how to introduce household chores to your kids and actually get their cooperation, please schedule an appointment through my website and I will help you get started. (Click on the “Book Now” button at right)
The NY Times had a great article on this: Happy Children Do Chores
The New York Times published an outstanding article on what you can do to help someone who is very depressed, and even suicidal. I think everyone will benefit from reading it, because if you don’t know any,ire who is depressed now, you probably will one day.
if you don’t care to read it (but I strongly recommend you do), here is the number for the Suicide Prevention Lifeline to keep on hand provided you ever find yourself in a situation with someone you fear may be planning to harm themselves. 1-800-273-8255, and the website is https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
There is also a Crisis Text Line that you can text 24/7 for help via text. I think this is so important because there are plenty of people who either don’t like talking on the phone or are uncomfortable with talking about their feelings but find texting easier. Text this number: 741741 the word HOME and they will text you back and provide free support.
and here is the link to the New York Times article: What to Do When a Loved One is Severely Depressed
Free, immediate help
See our blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Depressed? 5 Things to Try
I am a huge tennis fan and was interested to learn that 2018 French Open Champion Simona Halep talks with a Psychologist (often by phone she has said). You could see her mental toughness when she turned the match around and won the title. Mental toughness or what I call having an “Iron Will” can get you through the most challenging physical and mental circumstances. I have had the privilege of doing mental toughness training with althletes, members of the military, and students preparing for difficult exams.
When you prepare yourself mentally and develop an Iron Will, anything is possible. French Open Tennis Champion Simona Halep knows this, as do so many people who work hard on their intention and will to do their very best and overcome obstacles.
If you are preparing for a mental or physical challenge and want to get yourself mentally strong and tough, please give me a call or send me an email to learn how I can help you meet the challenge and achieve your goal.
My Hillsborough Office is conveniently located just one mile from Rt 206. There is onsite parking and the Office is fully handicapped accessible.
Just as a followup to my previous blog on children and internet use, here’s a great article on social media apps your child might be using:
It’s essential reading in my opinion.
If you are in conflict with your teen over their phone and social media use, please give me a call to discuss how I can help you better work through these issues with them and navigate the ever changing digital world your child is immersed in. 908-500-7295 or DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com
I came across a useful resource for parents seeking information and guidance on children’s internet use. Here’s the link: https://www.fosi.org/good-digital-parenting/
The internet, social media, apps, and emerging digital technologies are often difficult for parents to keep up with. By the time parents learn of a new app or social media platform, their kids will have already established profiles. Many teenagers have mastered the art of subterfuge.
Talk with your kids about what they post, set limits and establish boundaries pertaining to general internet use, and specifically social media. It is your responsibility as a parent to not only guide your child but also to monitor their online and electronics activity.
If you would like to learn more about how to better manage your child’s internet and social media activities please give me a call (908-500-7295) or send me an email at DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com
I am sometimes asked how to tell the difference. While from a professional’s point of view, it is pretty clear cut, it’s not always the case for a concerned family member or friend of someone suspected of having an Eating Disorder. Or even for a person who has an Eating Disorder. Before I was diagnosed, I didn’t realize it myself. I was in denial and it took a supervisor who had herself recovered from an ED to show me that I had one. In its early stages, my physician even missed it. I think this general list can be helpful in discerning the difference between an ED and a diet for the nonprofessional.
The difference between weight-loss diets and eating disorders can be difficult to identify but it generally falls where food-related behaviors cease to promote good health.
1. Dieting is integrated into one’s life without interfering with one’s responsibilities or everyday activities. Eating Disorders take control of people’s lives.
2. Healthy dieters take a balanced approach to weight loss, combining healthy eating practices with daily exercise, and usually understand that dieting takes time. Those with an Eating Disorder may be obsessed with losing weight and will often do whatever it takes to shed pounds as quickly as possible.
3. People on diets may feel uneasy with their appearance, and may strongly desire to lose weight, but they tend to view themselves realistically. People with eating disorders, on the other hand, often have distorted views and may see themselves as overweight no matter what size they are.
4. Healthy dieters generally do not feel depressed or down on themselves when they mess up. People with eating disorders are often depressed and filled with regret and self-loathing when they fail to live up to the impossibly high standards they set for themselves.
5. Dieting can be a fun social activity. People with eating disorders usually suffer alone and do not enjoy what they do.
6. Healthy dieting should make the person stronger and fitter in many respects. Eating disorder sufferers often become progressively less healthy, damaging their bodies in significant ways.
7. People with eating disorders diet even when they are at a healthy weight and would not benefit from weight loss. Healthy dieters seek to maintain weight when their goal is reached.
Source: The Cambridge Eating Disorder Center
To read about Body Image Issues, check out this blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Body Image Issues
How do you get through the cold, dark Winter days and nights? For some, this is quite a challenge. I have often wondered how people in Scandinavian countries get through their dark Winters. In fact, according to a recent article in the New York Times, people in Denmark rank third as happiest in the world -and the United States is 13th. What are they doing in Denmark?
It seems they even have a word for what they are doing-it’s called Hygee-and is pronounced “HOO-gah” or “Hue-gah”. Hygee refers to the Danish lifestyle of living that roughly means ” to make things cozy.”
Indoor activities such as watching a fire, knitting, making coffee, candlelight, and enjoying the company of good friends are all part of this lifestyle. In other words, focusing on the simple creature comforts of home. Although lacking it’s serene austerity, Hygee reminds me a bit of Japanese Zen. It is a form of mindful appreciation.
Hygee is apparently all the rage in Great Britain. I hope it has a similar positive effect here in the United States. So if you find yourself longing for warmer weather and the longer days of Summer, light some candles, make a cup of some good tea or coffee, put on some comfortable, warm socks and invite a few good friends over. Studies show that socializing is linked to emotional well being. Let’s learn from the Danish and practice Hygee!
If you suffer from Winter Blues or Seasonal Affective Disorder, give me a call or send me an email to discuss ways I will help you feel better that don’t involve medication. (I do refer patients who are in need of medication to physicians I trust). (908) 500-7295 or DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com. You can also make an appointment to see me by clicking on the “Book Now” button on the right, beneath the photo of me and Nutmeg, my dog.
Start the New Year off right and invest in some self-care.
Here is the New York Times article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/24/fashion/wintering-the-danish-way-learning-about-hygge.html?_r=0
And another good article from the New Yorker:
http://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-year-of-hygge-the-danish-obsession-with-getting-cozyhttp://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-year-of-hygge-the-danish-obsession-with-getting-cozy
Do you have trouble getting a good night’s sleep? Falling asleep and staying asleep? If so, you are among approximately 60 MILLION people in the United States who suffer from insomnia. Disturbances in sleep are associated with Depression, Anxiety, and other medical issues. In some cases, I refer patients for sleep studies to obtain an accurate diagnosis.
Recent studies have demonstrated the efficacy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Fortunately, this approach to treatment is painless and uncomplicated. I recommend an effective, online program that has been shown as highly effective in the treatment of insomnia. The online program is optional.
If you or a loved one or friend are suffering from sleep disturbances or insomnia, please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may be of assistance.
For more info on insomnia, check out this blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center’s website: Do You Have Trouble Sleeping?
I was perusing the National Eating Disorder Association’s (NEDA) website and in their online shop I came across a beautiful silver necklace with a tiny symbolic emblem on it. Knowing the healing power of image and symbols, I was immediately interested in this jewelry.
Wearing symbolic jewelry helps to remind us of what we have accomplished or what we are working towards. Necklaces and bracelets bearing positive imagery and inspirational words can be very helpful when you are having a hard time and offer reminders of accomplishments and goals. I particularly like symbols and images that represent hope on jewelry. They are like Talisman-imbued with meaning.
NEDA sells jewelry with ED recovery symbols as do many artisan jewelry makers on Etsy. See alsowww.JourneytoRecovered.com for some beautiful symbolic bracelets.
NEDA’s online shop: https://nedastore.turnkeywow.com/ProductListing.aspx?_Category=Jewelry
Everyone starts their recovery for their own reason. Mine eventually became that I couldn’t stand being so cold all of the time. Never mind the Osteoporosis I developed at age 30, the Amenorrhea I had for 7 years, or that my hair was falling out. All of which were important and even urgent reasons to recover. But it was the feeling cold all the time (freezing really), and Raynaud’s Syndrome (blue fingers and nose), that did it. I was sick and tired of having to take hot baths to warm up.
I was also really very tired from the endless worry about what I was eating. Excessive exercise was tiring too. I was just tired.
I could see that I was too thin, but I liked it. Sick, I know, but if you are reading this and you are suffering from Anorexia, you know exactly what I mean. Of course, at first, I didn’t see that I was too thin. But after some treatment and a lot of serious talks from my sister, my colleagues, and friends, I could finally see it.
You can be thin, healthy, and happy or skinny, unhealthy or DEAD. The long term health effects of an ED are horrendous and it is the most deadly psychiatric disorder. So find YOUR reason to recover.
If you are reading this and you think you have Anorexia or have been told you have it, think about this: Your recovery and road to good health can start right now. Right now, as you read this you are opening yourself to the hard facts of Anorexia, and to the choice of better health. It starts right now. You can do it. You can do it and be thin, happy, and healthy. I did it and I am no better than you are. If I could recover so can you.
I don’t quantify recovery by numbers-weight, calories, etc., that’s not my department. Your physician handles that side of it. My focus is on your mental and emotional well being. Numbers cause a lot of stress and anxiety-my job is to help you manage your emotions, and mentally equip you with the tools you need to recover. I have coping strategies, techniques, and more that I know can work.
With the holidays coming up, I will work very hard to help you get through them. I offer much between session support by text, email, and phone. Before, during and after those holiday meals and gatherings.
Please feel free to give me a call or send me an email to discuss your road to recovery. 908-500-7295 or DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com
Here is an article about the long term effects of EDs: ARTICLE
While there are many tools and techniques I teach patients in stress management, the most important one is the simplest and basic: how to breathe.
We start with the mechanics of healthy breathing and then incorporate mindfulness training. It is a very effective combination. With some additional tools and techniques (Cognitive-Behavioral, Solution-Focused, and Narrative Therapy based), you can be better equipped to deal with stress throughout your day.
Aside from the obvious immediate benefits of learning to manage your stress better, there are other significant, long term benefits: healthy blood pressure, reduced stomach upsets, decrease in tension headaches and migraines, and more. Not to mention less irritability, and less conflict with others.
If you or someone you know needs help managing stress and tension, please give me a call or schedule an appointment by clicking on the Booking button on the right of this website. You will learn effective stress management techniques in your first appointment.
The New York Times has an interesting article on breathing to reduce stress and it can be found here: ARTICLE
See a recent article on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website on How to Relieve Stress
Although one of my heroes in college was Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (who postulated the stages of grief), I never set out to specialize in grief and bereavement (I also treat other issues-Anxiety, Eating Disorders, and more see here). But like the Dr. Deborah Derman, author of Colors of Loss and Healing, an adult coloring book and journal, I suffered a lot of significant loss at a young age. Starting at age 8, our family dog died, then at age 12, I had the usual losses of my beloved Great-Grandmother, then my grandfather. Then aunts, uncles, and close family friends passed. At age 24, my first husband died of a rare form of leukemia-followed three months later by my grandfather and several more family pets. My mother died when I was 30. My sister died suddenly of an embolism and nearly a year to the day, my father died of leukemia. Therapy helped me find my way through those losses. And it is important to me to help others through their grief and loss.
I am often asked “Will it get better? Will it stop hurting so much?” And yes, it will. It will always hurt, but we can find our way to live around the holes in our hearts by loving more and hurting less. But I won’t lie-it’s a long journey. There is a sad beauty to it though and comfort can be found in poetry, art, music, and supportive psychotherapy.
Loss and grief are natural and part of life and not to be viewed as dysfunctional. Therapy can help get us through the pain and fear by helping us assimilate our losses in healthy ways. Empathy and compassion are key elements of this kind of therapy, as well as learning how to cope with the tidal waves of grief that make us feel like we are drowning.
I really like Dr. Derman’s book and recommend it to my patients. Another book that is quite a great read is Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala, who lost her entire family to a tsunami.
See our recent blog on Grief on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Coping with Grief & Counseling
see also: 3 Things to Help with Grief
Dr. Derman’s book Colors of Loss and Healing on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Colors-Loss-Healing-Coloring-Getting/dp/1530602130/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1463837783&sr=8-1&keywords=Coloring+through+loss
Sonali Deraniyagala’s book Wave on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Wave-Sonali-Deraniyagala-ebook/dp/B009Y4I4QU?ie=UTF8&qid=1463837949&ref_=la_B00ABOWEWW_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1
And the New York Times article on Dr. Derman’s book, where I first heard of it:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/05/16/coloring-your-way-through-grief/?em_pos=small&emc=edit_hh_20160520&nl=well&nl_art=7&nlid=65386032&ref=headline&te=1&_r=0http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/05/16/coloring-your-way-through-grief/?em_pos=small&emc=edit_hh_20160520&nl=well&nl_art=7&nlid=65386032&ref=headline&te=1&_r=0
Recently, in the New York Times, there was an article on the Dalai Lama and his hiring of two psychologists to create what is now called the online “Atlas of Emotions.” Apparently, the Dalai Lama feels strongly that in order to have World Peace we must have Inner Peace. And to have Inner Peace we have to understand our emotions. Hence the website. It is interactive and the graphics are beautiful. Chock full of information based upon the most current psychological research.
It is fun clicking on different emotions and reading about what they mean, and how they affect us and others.
I agree with the Dalai Lama–the more we understand our emotions, the better able we are to manage them. Insight and positive change are integral to Inner Peace.
http://atlasofemotions.com/# and the New York Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/07/world/dalai-lama-website-atlas-of-emotions.html?_r=0
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that 1 in 5 people suffers from a mental condition. I suspect the number is higher if we factor in how many people go through life suffering but never seeking help.
Now is a good time to have that talk with your loved one or best friend, who you think has depression, an eating disorder, stress, or other mental health issues. Tell them of your concerns, encourage them to seek professional help, and even offer to accompany them on their first appointment. Fear of the unknown, denial, unsure of how to go about it, and other reasons are why people often hesitate to seek professional help. Occasionally, a patient will tell me they were afraid they would end up hospitalized if they told a professional how they were feeling. The only time we hospitalize anyone is when they are a danger to themselves, others, or gravely impaired. My goal is to keep you out of the hospital.
NAMI has some great information on their website on what the warning signs are of a mental condition that will benefit from professional help.
https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Know-the-Warning-Signs
I strongly encourage you to seek professional help for whatever is stressing you, holding you back, or causing you emotional/psychological distress. It might not be as bad as you think–a few sessions with a trained professional can put you back on track, resolve issues, ease your mind, and free you of long standing internal (or external with others) conflict.
Please feel free to give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may be of assistance to you. Mental Health Awareness Month is a great time to get started.
See Dr. Marion’s blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: May is Mental Health Awareness Month
Celebrating Success, Offering Hope & Help This week I am celebrating the recovery and healing journey of those I am privileged to work with and also my own recovery!
It’s an exciting week-celebrating our lives and successes. Eating disorders are THE most deadly mental illness, so we are really celebrating the fact that we have not only survived but we thrive. I also want to offer HOPE to anyone struggling now.
You are not alone. You can feel better and be healthy and happy again. Healthy doesn’t mean fat. It means alive, vibrant, and no longer afraid of food, calories, parties, etc. it means not feeling tired and cold all the time. Healthy means having a life you enjoy that is not filled with fear and avoidance, restricting, dieting, excessive exercise, bingeing, purging, laxatives, self-loathing, arguments, tension, and stress. The eating disorder is isolating and will take over your life if it hasn’t already.
If I recovered so can you. Get help now. You really won’t regret it. And you will live to tell about it.
Please give me a call or send me an email so we can start your journey towards health and peace.
I will accompany you every step of the way. You can recover!
Often couples come to therapy seeking help with either fixing their relationship or deciding whether or not to end it. Sometimes one of them will insist it is all the other person’s fault and spend every session deflecting and blaming while refusing to look at themselves. Interestingly, it is usually the one who has done the most harm. If things escalate to divorce that same person will increasingly involve the children with no regard to their welfare. I have even seen cases where the person who had no relationship with the family dog fights for custody of it.
A divorce from a narcissist can bring out more of their sadistic and selfish side. And to make matters worse, if there are children involved, the battles continue even after the divorce. They withhold money, don’t communicate, and blame the other parent.
It is as if you are divorced TO them instead of FROM them.
If you are in a marriage or relationship (or divorce) with a narcissist, consider seeking professional help for yourself. They know how to get under your skin and hit you where it hurts. Supportive psychotherapy can help you find ways to better manage the turmoil and enable you to take control and finally have the upper hand. Please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I can be of assistance to you.
There’s a nice New York Times article on divorcing a narcissist found here: ARTICLE
And a good book entitled: “Will I Ever Be Free of You?”
A column in the New York Times mentioned some of the health benefits of having plants and flowers in indoor environments. As long as you are not allergic, plants and flowers help foster a more positive and upbeat mood. If you are allergic, maybe cacti, which do flower beautifully on a sunny windowsill, could be a reasonable option if sanctioned by your allergist. Also the Zyrtec website has a page on healthy houseplants for people with allergies.
See also my blog on combating Winter Blues Seasonal Affective Disorder-S.A.D.), here: http://www.drmarionrollings.com/combating-autumn-and-winter-blues-seasonal-affective-disorder-s-a-d
Here is the New York Times article: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/11/20/ask-well-do-indoor-plants-improve-our-health/?em_pos=small&emc=edit_hh_20151125&nl=health&nl_art=6&nlid=65386032&ref=headline&te=1
And here is the Zyrtec page: https://www.zyrtec.com/living-with-allergies/gardening/allergy-friendly-house-plants
The National Eating Disorders Association has a nice little online screener that you can take to help you gauge where you are at. It’s free and you can take it in under 2 minutes (I did).
If you think or you have been told by concerned friends and family that you might have an ED or a problem with food, eating, and body image, take the quiz. What is there is lose? If you have an ED you could be saving your own life by identifying it, getting treatment, and finally not having to worry and obsess about every little thing you eat (or don’t eat), how many calories you burned, purging (if you do), or how fat you feel. Treatment won’t get you fat or take away your control; an ED will though. And of all the mental disorders, Eating Disorders are the most deadly -yes, that’s right, more people die from EDs than from depression. So please, take a few moments to take the screener and if you need help GET IT. I know about the fear-I had it too, but the fear and burden of having to keep doing what I was doing was wearing me out. You end up with having no life, but plenty of stress and worry about food, exercise, and body image. Give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I might help you free yourself from the ED and live a healthy and happier life. If I recovered, so can you.
DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295
The free online screener can be found here: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/online-eating-disorder-screeninghttp://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/online-eating-disorder-screening
I think it can be said that there are some marriages that absolutely need counseling and there are others that maybe don’t need it, but would benefit from it. I often tell couples that you may very well work through your relationship issues without professional help, but it will likely take much longer and be a more difficult process. The other consideration is whether or not you have children. If you have children and are not getting along, you owe it to them to work things out–one way or the other. How can you tell if your marriage needs counseling? Check out this article from the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/02/marriage-counseling-_n_5412473.html
Couples often ask me how many sessions will they to work through their issues. My answer is that it all depends. It depends upon how hard you want to work in therapy (I promise you I will put 150% into our work together), as well as how entrenched the issues are. But that being said, sometimes a few sessions can jump start positive movement that leads to tremendous change.
If you think your marriage is in need of professional help or may benefit from talking with a professional, please give me a call or send me an email. I will be happy to talk with you about what my approach to your situation would be.
DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295
No one really likes to think about what may happen at the end of their life, much less talk to anyone about it. The unfortunate thing is that many people worry about what will happen to them but don’t talk or do anything about it. In reality, if we talk about our fears, our hopes, and our end of life care wishes, we will most likely feel better, and just as importantly, will have made known what we want for ourselves for when that time comes. Sharing that information with loved ones can be a great help to them. Individuals who have to make end of life health care decisions for loved ones often feel guilty and burdened over having to make decisions that they are not sure are in line with what their loved one’s wishes are.
The Conversation Project was started to help people clarify their thoughts and open communication with loved ones about their end of life care wishes.
From their website:
“Too many people are dying in a way they wouldn’t choose, and too many of their loved ones are left feeling bereaved, guilty, and uncertain.
It’s time to transform our culture so we shift from not talking about dying to talking about it. It’s time to share the way we want to live at the end of our lives. And it’s time to communicate about the kind of care we want and don’t want for ourselves.
We believe that the place for this to begin is at the kitchen table—not in the intensive care unit—with the people we love, before it’s too late.”
To help accomplish this, they have created an incredibly sensitive and helpful free starter kit.
Here is a link to their website:
http://theconversationproject.org/
The starter kit can be viewed and downloaded here:
http://theconversationproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/TCP_StarterKit_2015_Final_Writeable.pdf
Sitting down with a professional can also be very helpful in working through your end of life fears and concerns. Please give me a call at 908-500-7295 or send an email (DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com) to schedule an appointment. Why worry about something that you can actually do something about?
I often tell patients to put together a playlist of uplifting, favorite music that they can listen to when feeling down or anxious. A ground-breaking study has shown that music is BETTER than benzodiazepines at reducing anxiety. An added bonus is that unlike benzodiazepines there are no side effects to listening to music and it is not addictive (well, not in a harmful way). In another study, Mozart was found to have a significant effect upon certain allergic reactions.
“Now that we have anesthesia, music is used to calm nerves before surgery. Normally we use valium-type drugs like midazolam, sold as Versed, but it can have a variety of side effects including sometimes making people even more agitated, so this study was performed to see if relaxing music has a greater anxiety reducing effect than a standard dose of the drug. So, they whipped out some Kenny G. and the music worked significantly better than the drug: lower anxiety scores, lower heart rate, lower blood pressure. Perhaps the first report of any anti-anxiety therapy working not just as good as, but better then benzodiazepine drugs. And the difference in the side effects of relaxing music compared to the drug is obvious. There were none. Soft jazz causes no post-operative hangover, so the researchers suggest we should start using music instead of midazolam.” Michael Greger, MD, NutritionFacts.org, retrieved June 21, 2015
A summary of the study comparing benzodiazepines and music can be found here:http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19388893
Watch Dr. Gregor’s video for more information: http://nutritionfacts.org/video/music-as-medicine/
So get your playlist together and listen to some music!
See Dr. Marion’s post on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: How to Mange Anxiety
For years I have recommended Mandala Coloring books to patients. The benefits of coloring in adult coloring books was highlighted in a recent article in the New York Times. One doesn’t have to be an artist to do it. In my years of working in Psychiatric units and hospitals. I saw first hand the benefits of Art Therapy with even the most disturbed patient.
If you think about some of your childhood activities, or those of your own children- coloring, drawing, and creative arts were, or are, very likely a big part of childhood. Do you or did you ever color with your children? Try it-it’s fun and can be relaxing. Often in a child assessment, I will ask the child to draw me a picture of their family and/or their home (which usually means they will ask me to draw mine too). It is enjoyable, therapeutic, and can be a valuable addition to an assessment. Children usually enjoy coloring and drawing and I think many adults would too, if they tried it. Two books I recommend are “Color Me Calm” and “Enchanted Forest,” (see below).
In addition to coloring books, I have recently started recommending that patients draw and doodle-specifically, that they try Zentangle. There are many good books, hundreds of videos, and classes one can take. The book I like at the moment is shown below. But go to the local bookstore or online to check out the wide range of coloring and Zentangle books that are available. Get yourself some good coloring pencils and pens, and get started.
Read more at the New York Times
Psychotherapy, and where warranted, psychotropic medication, can help you work through emotional-psychological issues, relationship difficulties, and the challenges of life. But there are many things you can do to help yourself heal and effectively recover from emotional distress.
Now that Spring is finally here, hopefully we are shifting our focus from indoor activities to outdoor. I don’t just mean attending your child’s soccer game (which is great), but being outdoors, in your yard, on your patio, deck, or in a beautiful park or natural setting. Here in Somerset County, New Jersey we have the magnificent Duke Farms (http://www.DukeFarms.org). But what about enjoying your own yard or garden? I recently took a walk around my yard and was surprised to see a number of plants and trees I had forgotten were there- for example, Honeysuckle, and lots of it, was a happy discovery.
The calming effects of spending time outdoors, in the fresh air, with flowers, trees, and some kind of water feature are tremendous. Think of your favorite park-I bet there is a pond or stream Having some kind of water garden, pond, or pondless waterfall is fun and relaxing. You can have interesting plants, fish, and more in your water feature. Study after study has demonstrated the positive effects of connecting with nature upon blood pressure, pain management, memory, depression, anxiety, and more. Consider creating your own garden sanctuary (either on your own or with a professional pond and landscape designer).
This Spring, if you haven’t done so already, turn off the television, put down your phone, and head outdoors. You may find that you feel better. (If you suffer from allergies, first follow your physician’s advice).
Articles on the therapeutic effects of gardens:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3372556/
Early Spring Pond planted and maintained by Fitz’s Fish Ponds, Bound Brook, NJ
“Slow Down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.” Eddie Cantor”
To read a recent blog about taking mental health breaks on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website click here: Outdoor Mental Health Breaks
If you suffer from anxiety, you may be interested in hearing about a study conducted at the University of Exeter on the effects of looking at pictures of people being loved and cared for upon the brain’s reaction to pictures of threatening or anxiety inducing situations. They found that when subjects in the study viewed the positive images, they did not react to the negative images.
This finding is interesting because practically speaking, if you suffer from anxiety, a simple and inexpensive intervention to introduce into your self-soothing repertoire is to keep a number of pictures on your phone or bookmarked in your browser of people being loved and cared for. I intend to recommend this for patients with anxiety, stress, and PTSD. It is a simple thing to incorporate into any treatment and self-soothing routine.
Think about when you are waiting to see the dentist or preparing to undergo a medical procedure, or are just experiencing a lot of stress–how simple is it to pull out your phone and browse through some positive images? Paired with breathing exercises, mindfulness, and positive self-talk, this combination will very likely help alleviate anxiety and reduce stress.
If you are suffering from anxiety or having issues with stress management, please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may be of assistance to you.
To see a summary of the study, go here: http://www.exeter.ac.uk/news/featurednews/title_420975_en.html
See Dr. Marion’s blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: 5 Ways to Cope With Anxiety
This first week of March is National Sleep Awareness Week. The purpose of it is to bring attention to the importance of adequate sleep and good health. A poll conducted by the National Sleep Foundation found that good sleep is associated with better health. Recent studies have shown a strong relationship between depression and insomnia.
It makes sense when you think about it-if you sleep well you are rested and feel better than you would had you not slept enough. Illness and pain can be very disruptive to sleep as can be some medications.
Although they are widely prescribed, I am not overly fond of sleep medications. I see them as a last resort after all other non-pharmaceutical interventions have been exhausted. I see so many people who routinely take sleep medications without considering other effective strategies. Self-medicating with alcohol before bed is something else people often do, but it is one of the worse things you can do. Alcohol does not promote good rest. Not to mention the other issues that may arise from having a nightly drink.
Aside from maintaining a regular sleep routine and avoiding electronic devices before bed, I recommend trying sleep hypnosis. There are many sleep hypnosis apps in the App Stores that are well done, helpful, and inexpensive. The best thing to do is to make use of the sleep hypnosis app part of your bedtime routine.
The great Jungian analyst Clarissa Pinkola Estes has an audiobook entitled “Bedtime Stories: A Unique Guided Relaxation Program for Falling Asleep and Entering the World of Dreams.” I confess that I fall right to sleep within minutes of starting to listen. In addition to that recording, she has a great audio library of healing stories to listen to during difficult times of life.
“Bedtime Stories” and her other recording are available in the Itunes store, on Amazon, and from www.SoundsTrue.com.
Other helpful options to consider trying are a quiet period of meditation before going to bed or a yoga routine specifically designed for use before bedtime. Something else to think about is your bed and your bedroom. Is your mattress old and need to be replaced? Are the sheets and comforters clean and comfortable? Are your pillows comfortable? Is your bedroom a sanctuary offering rest and comfort or is it a mess that causes you stress? Is it too bright at night or too dark for you (Some people have strong preferences).
In the event that you continue to suffer from issues with sleep, it may be time for a Sleep Study. Sleep studies can be very helpful in identifying the cause of your sleep problems. After your sleep evaluation, the team will recommend a course of treatment for chronic disruptive issues with sleep.
Have you ever noticed how well your cat or dog sleeps? Ever wonder why? They don’t try to shorten their sleep time. They seem to enjoy sleeping, they don’t fight it like we humans do, and also unlike humans, they do not stay up all hours worrying about what will happen tomorrow, etc. Although there are obvious differences between the ways humans and cats and dogs live their lives, I think there are things we can learn from them. Mainly, I think we need to value sleep as they seem to.
Good sleep is associated with good health and better moods. If you or a loved one are suffering from insomnia or are having issues with sleep, it is time to do something about it. Taking sleep medication is not necessarily the best long term option, and alcohol is no solution at all. Have a talk with your physician about having a Sleep Study and consult a psychologist to help you identify ways you can help yourself enjoy a restful sleep.
The Sleep Foundation’s Poll findings can be found on their website at: http://sleepfoundation.org/
National Eating Disorder Awareness week seemed like an ideal time for me to write this blog. Back in the early 1990s I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. I was 79 pounds and on the edge of existence. I knew I was too thin, but I liked it. I was the clinical supervisor of a large social service agency in California, and there I was, suffering from an ED. I had dabbled in Bulimia in my late teens, and had been a compulsive, emotional eater in my childhood. In fact, at age 12 I weighed 187 pounds. I know what I weighed because one Saturday that Summer my Uncle took me, my sisters, and cousins to Keansburg, NJ where there was a performer on the boardwalk who would guess your weight. If he got it wrong you won a prize. Well in my case, he got it wrong–way wrong. I did not look my weight. When I stepped on the scale there were gasps from the crowd and triumphant laughs from my relatives. I fooled him and I won a prize.
By age 20, I weighed over 200 pounds. I cannot say how much over 200 because I was too embarrassed to get on a scale after I saw that number. For a few years (very few), I adopted a healthy lifestyle and began exercising and eating healthy. But then at age 24, my beloved first husband died of a rare form of leukemia. My life as I knew it was over. I was devastated. I spent some time healing and eventually met someone who I planned to spend my life with. I was still doing well with food and exercise, had graduated from college and was trying to decide if I still wanted to go to graduate school and become a psychologist. It had been my dream, but my boyfriend (who was the son of a prominent psychologist) was not in support and sadly the relationship became emotionally and then physically abusive. I knew I had to leave and finally did.
I was heartbroken and became afraid of relationships. I relocated to San Francisco where I had a fantastic job and a wonderful career. I lived alone after being booted from a roommate situation where I was kicked out because I was “too quiet.” I had a great apartment in the heart of the City and loved my work. I had returned to school and was completing my PhD in Psychology. But I had started restricting and my weight starting slipping. Finally, my supervisor, who recovered from an ED herself, confronted me about my weight and my ED. I had been in denial and was shocked but I promised I would do something. Of course, I did not. She confronted me again, and I had no choice. By this time, I was cold all of the time (which the cool climate of San Francisco did not help), my hair was falling out, and I hadn’t had my period in years. I sought treatment at a new hospital outpatient program. I was paired up with a Registered Dietitian who worked with me on my diet and exercise regimens.
The Program was experimental and did not involve therapy. I was threatened all of the time with hospitalization though. But was determined to stay out of the hospital. I had been walking miles and miles every day (my job involved traveling to different sites in the City). Although I wanted to get better and recover, I was absolutely terrified. I was being asked to eat new foods in quantities I was afraid of and was not supposed to exercise or walk as much as I had been. I had spent 15 years in Freudian psychoanalysis as a patient and although I had plenty of insight, I needed a lot of help changing my ways. Over a long period of time, I gradually recovered. I can’t say I always complied with treatment, but I definitely pushed myself.
I never intended to start treating EDs myself, but word got out and now I have the great privilege of assisting many people on their journey of recovery. I am happy to say that although I still sometimes hear the old scripts play through my head when I eat or exercise, I don’t listen. This was a hard won battle that I could have lost. I did develop osteoporosis, ammenorhea, and Raynaud’s Syndrome. Fortunately, I recovered from those too. Not everyone is as lucky as I was and I know it.
When you have an eating disorder, it takes over your life–with anorexia, your food choices became narrower and narrower, until there are only a few “safe” foods. Things like bananas and pizza can be scary. I remember when I was Bulimic, stuffing myself to the point where I felt I might explode. I was very afraid of having leftovers in the house. Eventually, the ED takes over your life, pushing out friends and family, and it gets harder and harder to do normal things like eat with friends, go to parties, and you schedule your life around unreasonable exercise regimens. You start to have a building anger and constant, gnawing anxiety. You can end up living in a box that gets smaller and smaller and you basically have no life.
If you have never had an eating disorder, it is hard to understand why the person can’t “just stop” or “just eat something.” You may think it’s “just a piece of bread” and not understand why the person doesn’t see that they look “fine” or “too thin” If someone told me I looked fine, to my addled mind it meant that I had gained weight, If they said I looked too thin, I liked that, but didn’t always believe them and then I worried about how I would stay too thin.
Having been on both ends of the weight spectrum, I can honestly say they both feel horrible. In getting away from thinking of food as calories or food as my friend or enemy, we can develop a healthy relationship with food that focuses on eating a balanced diet with healthy moderate exercise. The focus is on good health, not on numbers. I admit, I still don’t like getting weighed but I think many people don’t. I am no longer willing to restrict or binge and am very glad I am able to eat in restaurants and with friends without worrying about calories and weight gain or loss.
In my work with patients who have eating disorders, I use an individualized approach and work very hard to motivate, assist, coach, and believe in the person’s ability to recover.
If you or someone you know may have an eating disorder, talk to them today, get help today. Make that first phone call or send an email to reach out for help and information. If I could get better and recover, anyone can. If you would like to discuss how I may be of assistance to you please give me a call or send me an email and I will be happy to talk with you about your unique needs and what I can do to help.
In light of the recent findings that two military psychologists aided and abetted torture schemes carried out by the CIA, I want to state unequivocally that I am completely against such actions, am disgusted, angered, and deeply saddened to learn that any psychologist would engage in such completely unethical and sadistic practices. We are bound by the highest levels of ethical integrity and it is imperative that all psychologists come together to condemn these acts as well as ensure they are never again repeated. The American Psychological Association (APA) has initiated an independent review of this situation, and while I hope they come forth with truthful findings and an action plan to prevent this from ever happening again, as well as severe consequences for those psychologists, I am not confident they will. It shocks and fills me with despair to hear that some psychologists(a great minority, but still!) seem to have no problem with what those two did. For shame.
How could this happen? Psychologists in clinical practice provide essential mental health services and those in research work on diverse scientific topics. In research, clinical settings, and practicum, we work within and collaborate with just about every medical and scientific discipline. We abide by strict ethical codes, guidelines, and laws that form the foundation of what we do and how we do it, which go well beyond “Do No Harm.” I could not imagine how these two psychologists could rationalize or justify their work. Where is the scientific basis for this? How did it pass the ethics committee? Could they not see that this was morally wrong? It seems that these two psychologists extrapolated from classic studies in psychology on Learned Helplessness (which, in my view, have ethical issues of their own), and applied them to justify their actions. This is bogus and unprofessional. Upon hearing this, the main researcher behind the Learned Helplessness studies, Dr. Martin Seligmann stated he is “grieved and horrified” (see link to NY Times article below). Several news outlets (NY Times among them), have reported the psychologists were paid 81 MILLION DOLLARS. So Greed reared its ugly head. That’s how it happened.
“The program allowed the psychologists to assess their own work — they gave it excellent grades — and to charge a daily rate of $1,800 each, four times the pay of other interrogators, to waterboard detainees. Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Jessen later started a company that took over the C.I.A. program from 2005 until it was closed in 2009. The C.I.A. paid it $81 million, plus $1 million to protect the company from legal liability.”( NY Times, Report Portrays a Broken C.I.A. Devoted to a Failed Approach, December 9, 2014)
I am completely against psychologists participation in torture and other harmful, inhumane actions. It is against everything we are taught and trained to do and because of our roles as health care researchers and providers, we have a greater responsibility to ensure our work is in line with the ethics and guidelines of our profession-and that they are morally correct. We are held to a higher standard and rightfully so. Legal actions are not necessarily moral ones. So even though the government apparently sanctioned and paid for the services of those two psychologists, it does not mean it was right or ethical. Although I had nothing to do with the CIA torture situation, I am so sorry that it occurred and hopeful that measures will be taken to prevent this from ever happening again.
Psychologists do a lot of things but torture must never be one of them
UPDATE: In a letter to the New York Times, the APA President makes a strong statement about the APA’s position regarding this matter. I understand she is also writing to other major newspapers. It is true and safe to say that every psychologist I know as well as those in psychology associations of which I am a member are condemning the actions of those two psychologists. See the letter here: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/13/opinion/the-torture-report-voices-of-outrage.html?smid=nytcore-ipad-share&smprod=nytcore-ipad&_r=0
A New York Times article reported that boredom (having nothing interesting to do), can be as stressful as having too much to do.
This is no surprise to me, as I have seen countless bored teens and adults who lack interesting pastimes and hobbies and who exhibit an array of stress-related symptoms that are unrelated to employment, financial hardship, relationship issues, or other factors.
So how do I help people who present with stress?
For those who are overwhelmed by home, job, and relationship responsibilities, I work on stress management techniques that target a range of symptoms and behaviors. I create what I call a “therapeutic toolbox” of stress management techniques to help the individual cope with the stress and its accompanying issues. We also examine the causes and sustaining factors that underlie the stress and what changes can be made to ensure a long term solution. Mindfulness meditation, self-hypnosis, relaxation training, Cognitive-Behavioral therapy (CBT), Solution Focused Therapy (SFT), moving meditation (such as Yoga,Tai Chi, Walking Meditation), reasonable exercise (especially walking), and many other tools and techniques are implemented. I tend to recommend a number of inexpensive apps that are also helpful.
For those who suffer from Boredom related stress, I work on helping the individual form a sense of purpose, set reasonable and attainable short and long term goals, and find meaning in the work they do as well as in their day to day activities.I focus on helping resolve sleep related issues (both insomnia and oversleeping). I utilize many of the same techniques listed above but with a different emphasis and approach.
I do not use a “cookie-cutter” approach with everyone who comes to therapy for stress management. I do use an individualized approach that is tailored to the particular needs of the person.: A Humanistic, Holistic, and comprehensive approach.
Let’s not forget that some stress is vital to our existence and necessary to our functioning. It is when there is an imbalance that stress management techniques need to be implemented for long term relief.
If you would like to learn more about how I would work with you and your unique set of circumstances and stressors, please give me a call or send me an email at 908-500-7295 or DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com If you would like to schedule an appointment to meet with me, please click on the blue “Book Now” button on the right.
Here is the link to the New York Times article: CLICK HERE
Studies have found that the use of a Light Box can be helpful in alleviating the symptoms of what is commonly known as Seasonal Affective Disorder. S.A.D. is the depressed mood one may experience during the darker, colder Winter months. For some people, the onset of S.A.D.symptoms can be as soon as early Autumn.
Light therapy or Heliotherapy, has also been used to treat certain skin disorders (please consult your dermatologist for information about that). For S.A.D., studies have found that a brief, daily exposure to a special Light Box can be helpful in alleviating the depressed mood associated with Winter.
Until recently, Light Boxes were quite expensive and out of the reach of the average person. Now there are several reasonably priced Light Boxes available on the general market (check Amazon). Whichever one you decide to buy, be sure that it is designated for mood enhancement and not skin disorders. The Nature Bright SunTouch Plus is very popular http://www.naturebright.com/ Which ever one you try, be sure to follow the manufacturer’s directions for use and safety.
Combined with psychotherapy that provides strategies to help you cope, a light box might help alleviate your symptoms.
For other tips on how to cope with Seasonal Affective Disorder, see my blog: Combating Autumn and Winter Blues-Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.): 15 things you can do to cope and feel better.
14 things you can do to cope and feel better
With the first day of Autumn, and soon after, the changing of clocks to Daylight Savings Time, Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) sets in for many people. I admit that I was one of them! Right around the first week or two of September, as the light starts to change and mornings and evenings are cooling off, I would start thinking about the forthcoming Winter. I am a Summer person by nature-love the heat and humidity, so the onset of cooler weather and shorter days would really affect me. I did not tolerate the cold well, so that didn’t help either.
While I wasn’t wild about the cool and often windy days of Autumn, I would think of Winter as a time of cold, dark, and snow that would inhibit my ability to be outdoors and even get to my office. Depressing! I would feel anxious and trapped during big storms.
Then something happened that changed everything for me. A few years back, there was a snowstorm that snowed me in for two weeks. And after that there were several more that kept me home for a few days at a time. It was a Winter of snow, ice, and more snow. Much like we seem to have every Winter now. I found myself doing things indoors that I would not be doing in Summer, when I am outdoors as often as possible. While snowed in, I caught up on indoor projects, cleaned out closets, read books I had been meaning to read, watched lots of movies with family, cooked and did some baking, slept more, relaxed. I didn’t have to be anywhere by a certain time and that felt almost like vacationing. I started to read about how people in cold weather countries coped. I noticed how Scandinavian people fill their dark and snowy winters with festive foods, light, and activity. I cultivated some indoor hobbies. In other words, I started to enjoy Winter. It’s still not my favorite season, but I do like so much about it. Here are some tips for coping with the Winter Blues:
The first few are very basic but if you are not physically comfortable you will have a hard time mentally feeling better.
1. Dress warmly-wear layers, gloves, hats, boots, whatever it takes to keep warm. Winter clothes can be fun and very stylish.
2. Eat Seasonally-Prepare foods that are in season and consider investing in a crock pot/slow cooker. They are great for making soups and stews. A bread machine is a nice thing to have too. Both fill the house with warm, delicious aromas. Winter foods are heartier but they don’t have to be unhealthy. For some healthy recipes and inspiration, go to Veg Recipes
3. Exercise. Ask your physician what type of exercise is safe and appropriate for you. I don’t mean you have to run marathons. Even just taking a walk has enormous benefits. Shopping malls are great places to walk indoors during cold and inclement weather.
4. Meditate. Meditation can help you manage your moods, stress, and anxiety. There are thousands of books, Youtube videos, and websites with information on how to meditate. I like the free resources psychologist Tara Brach provides on her website :www.TaraBrach.com. Did you know that Yoga, Tai Chi, and walking meditation are all moving forms of meditation?
5. Keep your work areas well lit. Light candles (safely) for atmosphere during meals, and consider getting a Light Box. (More about Light boxes later). If you have a fireplace or wood burning stove, build a fire. Make sure you have it cleaned and serviced annually so you can safely use it.
6. Before a snowstorm hits, stock up on books to read and movies to watch. Head over to your local library, add ebooks to your ebook reader, and make a list of shows and movies you would like to watch.
7. Cultivate some indoor hobbies. Being creative keeps you busy and distracted from watching the snow falling. If you are a golfer, practice putting. Learn to knit, crochet, paint, draw, occupy your time in creative ways.
8. Cultivate outdoor hobbies. With the proper clothing and equipment, for some people, cold weather hobbies can be quite enjoyable. Buddy up with cold weather enthusiasts. Find out what kind of hobbies or sports they enjoy in the cooler weather months. Find out what kind of Fall and Winter activities the local nature center has planned.
9. Grow some houseplants. Indoor gardening is a fun and relaxing hobby and there is something for everyone to grow. Not only do plants add to the decor, they also improve the air quality in your home. African violets are inexpensive, relatively easy to grow, and will bloom all year round. For free tips on growing them, visit the African Violet Society’s website at http://www.avsa.org Grow herbs on your windowsill and look through gardening catalogues for what you want to grow in Spring. If you really have a black thumb, consider getting an Aerogarden. You can grow flowers, herbs, even tomatoes in one. http://www.aerogarden.com
10. If possible, install bird feeders and watch the natural habitat outside your windows. In Autumn, find your local hawk watch and see the huge migration of hawks, eagles, and more. Learn to identify the birds and wildlife in your backyard. All it takes is a decent set of binoculars and a good guide book. All of the best wildlife and bird guides are also available as apps, complete with bird songs to help you ID them. After a snowstorm, observe the animal tracks in the snow. To learn more, join your local Audubon group. In New Jersey, it’s the New Jersey Audubon Society at http://www.njaudubon.org
11. Ask your physician to test you for vitamins D and B deficiencies. It’s a simple blood test and a surprising number of people are low in them.
12. Join something. A club, a society, a class. Cultivate new friends and new interests.
13. Visit indoors gardens. There may be a large indoor horticultural garden in your area. My favorite is Longwood Gardens (http://www.longwoodgardens.org). Horticultural societies often have annual shows with magnificent displays of tropical foliage.
14. Focus on what is good about Winter. Yes, I know it’s cold and dark, but there is a lot more to it than that. Celebrate the Autumn Equinox and Winter Solstice. Decorate and celebrate the holidays. Find the good and do your best to enjoy it. There is beauty in every season. You still may not be a fan of Winter, but at the very least you will be able to tolerate it and not sink into a four month funk.
Please see my next blog on Light Boxes. A light box can help ward off Winter Blues and is something I recommend for those with Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.).
A New York Times article revealed that many CEOs in the high tech industry LIMIT their own children’s exposure to technology. Steve Jobs did not give his children iPads, The founder of Twitter (Evan Williams), gives his children actual BOOKS not iPads. Why, you may wonder? These high tech executives and innovators are afraid their kids, like anyone else’s kids, will become addicted to technology.
I am often asked for my professional opinion regarding children’s use of social media and technology. I have no hard fast rules since every child and family is different and parents have ideas of their own (as well as technology addictions of their own) regarding their children’s use of technology.
When deciding how soon to provide a child with a tablet like an iPad or a smart phone, I suggest that parents become very familiar with how the device(s) work -there are still parents who do not own a smart phone themselves, yet their 10 year old has the latest iPhone. How will the device enhance your child’s life and how much time will you allow them to spend on their tablet or phone for noneducational purposes or on social media? How will you monitor your child’s use of the technology?
I recommend parents oversee what apps the child chooses, keep an eye on their texting and internet use, do not allow unmonitored email, Facebook, Twitter accounts, or Snapchat for children or teens. Most importantly, if you do allow your child to use the latest technology and social media, you must not only closely monitor their use, but you MUST stay current with what the latest technology is and its capabilities, what the popular and trendy apps for your child’s age group are, and what his or her peers and social group are doing with their smart devices.Explicit pornography is available for your child to view on Youtube and is free for anyone, including your child, to view from a simple Google search from their phone or tablet. Consider using one or more parental controls on their devices but be aware that many children know how to bypass them, and manipulate their devices to hide their activities. Set a Google alert for your child’s name to catch unauthorized use of their name on the internet.(www.Google.com/alerts). Keep communications open with your child about your concerns and listen to theirs. The need to protect your young child or teen from sexual predators, stalkers, and other forms of exploitation is greater than ever.
Technology and social media are undeniably an integral part of American culture. Providing your child with supervised use and ensuring they maintain a balance of time spent with electronics and technology, books, nature, sports, creative games and crafts, will protect your child from developing addictive and unhealthy habits.
See the NY Times article here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/11/fashion/steve-jobs-apple-was-a-low-tech-parent.html?_r=0
If you have concerns about your child’s technology or social media use, or need help deciding the parameters of their use, I may be reached at 908-500-7295 or DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com
photo credit: Copyright: http://www.123rf.com/profile_tatyanagl‘
The death by suicide of comedian Robin Williams has stunned and shocked his fans. It is tragic and sad.
How can this happen, that someone who apparently had so much to live for could kill himself? Material success does not provide emotional well-being.
While I don’t know the specifics of Robin Williams’ life and suicide, his media representative stated that he was severely depressed and had been in rehab for drug treatment.
What I do know is that depression is isolating-it creates a tunnel vision whereby you cannot see your options. Things look and feel bleak. Add drugs to the mix and then you have an even deeper hole to climb out of. My goal is to show a person their options-suicide is one option, but there are so many others. When you are worn down by a long term depression and tired of struggling it may seem like a good option, but it’s not.
If you are thinking of committing suicide or are having thoughts of harming yourself -Wait. Don’t act upon them. Pick up the phone and call someone-talk to a live person. If no one you know is available, then call the suicide prevention lifeline/hotline: 1-800-273-8255. (24/7)
You can also go to their website and chat with someone from 2pm to 2am.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Or
Call 911-they will send someone that will take you to a hospital and safe place.
I have worked with many people who have thought of suicide and some who have attempted it. What they have told me is that they are glad they did not carry it out or glad that they did not succeed. With professional help, they have managed to find peace and meaning in their lives, forgive themselves, forgive others, become free of substance abuse, and love and respect themselves.
In the depths of despair you may feel very alone and unable to see what your other options are. There is hope and you can feel better. There are people who care and will help you find your way out of the dark hole of depression. Suicide is not the answer.
Companion Animals, Therapy, and Relationships
An article in the New York Times magazine mentioned two psychologists whose patients bring their dogs to session. One psychologist specializes in Dog-Owner relationship issues. The other psychologist allows his patients to bring their dogs to their sessions. It was very gratifying to read that some of my colleagues see the wisdom of including dogs in their sessions—not for pet assisted therapy but as subjects in therapy themselves.
I encourage my patients to bring their dogs and other companion animals to their sessions. Dogs, cats, birds, and other animals are family members. Sometimes in a family, the dog is a person’s closest ally. When I do an intake and assessment, in addition to asking about family members (siblings, parents, extended family), I always ask if there are companion animals and invite the patient to bring them to their sessions.
I often involve the family dog, cat, bird, guinea pig, rabbit, or horse in a patient’s healing. Individuals with anxiety often benefit from taking walks with their dogs (it is mutually beneficial-since most dogs love to take walks). Those who suffer from depression often find comfort in walking with and spending time in the company of a dog or horse. The unconditional positive regard one gets from a dog (and the occasional cat) is tremendously healing. Your dog loves you no matter what. You cat may too, but might not be in the mood to let you know.
I do not use the animal to help the person but rather help expand and build upon the strengths of the animal-human bond. It is good for both human and animal.
The New York Times article has a humorous take by the writer on his relationship insecurity issues with his dog—he thinks his dog doesn’t like him. I am very fortunate in that I am certain my rescue Chihuahua is fond of me (and I of her.)
Update: Unfortunately the New York Times article is no longer available for free online
Read Dr. Marion’s blog on Depression on the Holistic Health Counseling website: Depressed?
The American Academy of Pediatrics has recommended that parents regularly read to their children from infancy onwards. The value of reading to children from birth is tremendous. Reading to children at a young age provides many benefits and is thought to have profound and lasting effects upon their cognitive development and later academic success.
Children’s books are available on a wide range of topics-from the fun and light hearted, to the vocabulary building, educational, and therapeutic. Aside from the obvious benefits of reading to them are the equally important of bonding, sharing quiet time together, and role modeling reading behavior to them.
To find good books to read with your child, check with the children’s section librarian of the local library, as well as online blogs and reviews. The New York Times has a weekly section of children’s book reviews and best sellers that is worth looking at. Also, your child’s school teacher may have some valuable suggestions.
See the NY Times article on the Academy’s recommendation here: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/24/us/pediatrics-group-to-recommend-reading-aloud-to-children-from-birth.html?_r=0
Other online sources:
The New York Public Library has a list of the top 100 children’s books of all time: http://www.nypl.org/childrens100
The International Reading Associations provides annual lists of Children and Teacher’s favorites: Recommended Children’s Reading
The National School Psychologists Association has a list of recommended books for children dealing with grief, loss, and trauma:http://www.nasponline.org/resources/crisis_safety/Books_for_Children_Dealing_With_Loss_or_Trauma.pdf
See Dr. Marion’s article on Toddler behavior: Toddler Temper Tantrums
A psychologist is a mental health professional with a doctorate degree in psychology and extensive training in their area(s) of specialization. A psychiatrist is a mental health professional with a medical degree and extensive training in pharmacotherapy of mental illness.
A licensed psychologist has both a doctoral degree with specialized training in clinical psychology and a license to practice psychotherapy and provide psychological services (like psychotherapy and psychological testing). We are not physicians and unless we have specific training in psychopharmacology, we do not prescribe medicine. Licensed psychologists treat a wide range of mental health issues, disorders, and illnesses. We provide individual, couples, family, and group therapy.
A psychiatrist is a physician with specialized training in the treatment of mental illness with medication. Most do not provide psychotherapy. Their treatment modality is medical treatment of mental illnesses in individuals.
Both professions have important roles in mental health care. Research shows that medication without therapy for most mental issues is ineffective. And for some serious mental illnesses, therapy without medication is not as effective. While I think that most people are over-medicated, I do believe that medication, when used appropriately, can be of great benefit. I do not recommend medication for everyone-as there is no magic pill for mental health.
Working together providing integrated care for our patients demonstrates the best treatment outcome for long term positive relief from mental disorders.
May is Mental Heath month. During this time mental health professionals and agencies strive to educate the general public about mental health issues and treatment. The Mental Health America website has a few free online assessment tools that are helpful in identifying mental health issues that will benefit from treatment.
http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/mental-health-screening-tools
The test results are not proof of a mental health issue but are indicators that you may benefit from speaking to a professional.
I may be reached at 908-500-7295 or DrMarionRollings@gmail.com to discuss how I may be of assistance to you.
Spring is here and with its onset our attention shifts from indoor activities to outdoor fun. Websites and experts admonish us to clean out our closets, clean up our yards, and open our windows for fresh air. It’s time for Spring Cleaning.
While there are undeniable emotional and psychological benefits to Spring Cleaning, it is very helpful to take things a step further and declutter and simplify our mental states.
Clearing out emotional debris is liberating. Freeing oneself of unnecessary worries, long held grudges, and negative thinking can lead to a lighter, more peaceful and enjoyable Summer.
Are you still angry with a friend or relative over a slight or misunderstanding that occurred during the Holidays? Are you in the midst of an emotional drama that has gone on too long? It’s time to let that go. Anger is like rust on metal-the longer you have it, the more corrosive it is to oneself. Drama belongs on the stage and in movies, not in your home.
Have you been excessively worried about something you cannot control or change?
Regretting something from your past?
Worrying about the future and regretting the past ruin the present moment.
Spring is finally here and you have a choice: Either continue holding on to and accumulating more emotional debris or take steps now to change that. Mental Spring Cleaning will enable you to free yourself of these old habits and better enjoy a happier and peace-filled Summer.
Please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may help you with your “Mental Spring Cleaning”. drmarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295
Being a holistic oriented practitioner, I am always interested in safe, effective, natural adjunctives and alternatives to conventional treatments.
Aromatherapy is the use of the scents of essential oils of flowers, roots, leaves, and other plant parts to foster emotional and physical well being. The scents are diffused in an area through inexpensive aromatherapy diffusers. It is a natural, safe, and evidence based approach to anxiety and stress management. It can be a very helpful addition to traditional treatment. In my office I often use oils of Lavender and Geranium and occasionally I burn incense. They enhance the calm and comforting atmosphere of the office space. I also play soothing, natural music in my waiting room (from the NatureSpace app, which I highly recommend).
Sweet Orange Oil for anxiety reduction has been found effective at lowering anxiety levels. See this video by Dr. Gregor:
Sweet Orange Oil for anxiety
Other oils that have been associated with anxiety reduction are Lavender, Geranium, Ylang-ylang (a beautiful flower), Vanilla, and Bergamot (which is actually what Earl Grey tea is scented with).
Aromatherapy Diffusers are available for home, car, and even to wear on a decorative chain.
Essential oil companies also sell blended oils for relaxation, anxiety reduction, and stress management. Go to a well stocked health food store and take a look at the aromatherapy section. There usually are test bottles you can sniff to see which ones may be most helpful to you.
Incense burning is another calming and stress relieving practice you may find helpful. Buy incense that is fair trade and from established reputable companies. Triloka is one company that is fair trade.
I am not suggesting anyone replace their medication or therapy sessions with aromatherapy but am suggesting it as a helpful addition to treatment.
February 23-March 1 is Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Do you or someone you know suffer from issues with food that are affecting your physical, emotional, and social wellbeing? Has food become your friend or enemy? Anorexia, Bulimia, Compulsive Eating, and Bingeing are eating disorders that lead to isolation, wild weight fluctuations, family and relationship conflict, dental and health problems, emotional distress and possibly death. It’s a roller coaster of ups and downs for the sufferer as well as friends and family.
More people die from Eating Disorders than any other psychiatric disorder. Shocking, right?
The road of recovery is long and challenging, but it is a definite path to health, happiness, and a life you enjoy. The ED road is lonely, unhappy, anxiety ridden, and deadly.
With the right professional help and the desire to recover, you or your loved one will absolutely get better.
Please give me a call or email me to discuss how I may be of assistance in helping with your permanent recovery from the roller coaster of eating disorders.
The National Eating Disorders Association has info on what an ED is and more
http://nedawareness.org
Couples often come for marriage and relationship counseling when something has become broken in the relationship (such as communication) and/or /there has been at least one major stressor-it could be an affair, a financial issue with spending, child rearing disagreements, sexual issues, etc.
Usually one party feels “right” or sees him or herself as the “wronged one.” In the first session, as each partner explains their side of the story, there is often quite a lot of finger pointing and blaming. I listen carefully to what each has to say, observe their body language, and look beneath the surface for what is left unsaid .I pay a lot of attention to what is right with their relationship as well as what appears wrong. I usually will meet with each partner separately to hear the whole, unedited version of their story from each person’s perspective.
One of the key elements in therapy is to move beyond blame to responsibility. By that I mean to refocus the attention of each person from blaming someone else for their troubles back to their own behavior and how they can take responsibility for the problems in the relationship as well as responsibility for the healing of it.
This does not mean that the presenting problem is dismissed or minimized in any way. In fact, taking responsibility it is a key element in changing the unhealthy patterns and behaviors that led to the infidelity, excessive spending, etc. The person who had the affair or engaged in the excessive spending may be unwilling to take responsibility for their actions if their partner does not acknowledge theirs. In addition, it is always easier to identify and analyze what the other person is doing wrong as opposed to one’s own behavior.So moving past blame towards responsibility means that both parties accept that they have made mistakes (however major or minor they may be), and focus upon what they can each do to move past the issues towards a happy and healthier relationship.
Please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may be of assistance to you in resolving your marital or relationship issues.
Ever remember your dreams? Have you had the same dream over and over? Have you ever dreamt of falling, of not being able to use your voice, of feeling trapped, chased, lost? Do you have dreams you think are important but are not sure what they mean? Do deceased loved ones appear in your dreams? Dream dictionaries are interesting but not very helpful and most are way too general to really help you understand what your dreams mean.
For centuries, humans have studied dreams. Dream analysis was made famous by Freud in 1900 with publication of his landmark book “The Interpretation of Dreams.” His contemporary, Carl Jung, and many others, did much to broaden and deepen our understanding and ability to interpret our dreams.
I recommend keeping a Dream Log. Place a notepad and pen next to your bed. Once you wake up and remember some dreams, write them down immediately-before they are forgotten. With some professional guidance, you can learn about what your dreams mean and how they may be helpful to you in your daily life. Dream interpretation helps one gain insight to oneself. And, it’s fun!
Dream Interpretation and Analysis are valuable therapeutic tools I use in therapy. I generally use Jungian and Freudian techniques. Please feel free to contact me to learn more about how I may be of assistance to you.
I am a member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams.
Here is a link to my member listing:
http://dreamtalk.hypermart.net/member/files/marion_rollings_phd.html
I often receive phone calls from individuals who are either interested in starting therapy or have been told they should. First time callers usually ask “How does this work? How do I start?”
Let me start from the beginning to explain.
Obviously the first step is to contact a few therapists by phone or email. If a therapist does not respond to you in a timely manner, cross them off your list. If they are slow to respond now, you cannot be sure they will be responsive in a time of crisis or emergency (everyone I work with has my cell phone number for that very reason-you need to be able to reach your therapist in times of trouble).
Studies show that the most important element of positive therapeutic outcome is the therapeutic alliance or how comfortable you feel with your therapist. Believe it or not, it matters more than the therapist’s specific theoretical orientation (i.e., cognitive behavioral). If you do not feel comfortable with the therapist during your first phone contact or in the first session do not feel you are a good fit, find another therapist. Psychotherapy is too important to waste time and money with a therapist you are not comfortable with.
The initial consultation is one hour (60 minutes). Sessions after that can be 45 or 60 minutes and that is up to you. Sessions may be scheduled weekly, biweekly, monthly, or as needed. I will make a recommendation but it is purely the patient’s decision.
I am often asked to estimate how long treatment will take. While that is difficult to say, I will say that for some issues like eating disorders, treatment is going to take a lot of time and work. An anxiety disorder will take fewer sessions. Behavioral problems with children might only take a few sessions. Infidelity-no quick fix, but we aren’t looking at years of therapy. It all depends upon the severity of the problem and how committed you are to working on it. I give 100 percent and will do all I can to assist you. I do not ever try to keep people in therapy when they do not need to be there or do not want to be there.
I utilize what I call the Dentist Model of treatment. Initially, you come to my office with a presenting problem. I learn about you, your relevant history, and your world. During the course of therapy, we resolve the issues that brought you to treatment and therapy concludes. Thereafter, you make an appointment when there is a problem, just as you would would with the dentist when you have a toothache or cavity. This works quite well because even if I do not see you for a few years, I do remember you, your history, and our work together. You will not have to start from the beginning. We can jump right in and work on your presenting problem without having to go over your history.
Life is messy-if it took time for the presenting problem to develop, it may take some time to resolve it. Having patience with the process is very important, and understanding that progress with long standing issues can be a slow climb to the top that is sometimes riddled with ups and downs. My role as psychotherapist is to keep you on the right track heading in a positive direction while getting you off the volatile emotional roller coaster. I view it as a collaborative effort.
Some therapists are less talkative then others. I will adjust myself to whatever your needs are, However, especially in the first session, I will not just sit there and wait for you or your child to talk. If you don’t talk, I will. This is not a chess match and I take very seriously the importance of helping you resolve whatever has brought you to therapy.
Scheduling therapy sessions is flexible and open ended. I understand that finances, work, and other things play a part in how often you may come to therapy. There is no pressure from me on how frequent you have appointments. I will make my recommendation and work with what ever you choose.
I will work with you to develop a therapeutic work box of tools to help you cope and to ensure a more rapid and lasting recovery from your presenting problem.
Immediate relief in the first session is not always possible but I will do my utmost to ensure you leave the first session with some relief as well as a plan for long term success.
With the holidays approaching, the stress levels of those coping with eating disorders (as well as their immediate family members) are rapidly rising. Holidays represent time with family and friends, celebrating, eating special foods, and basically being out of our normal routines. All of which create huge amounts of anxiety for those who are coping with eating disorders and weight issues.
I can recall when I was anorexic, feeling very anxious during the holidays—Christmas time was particularly scary because of all the holiday cookies, cakes, heavier meals, and festivities. And in my loud and loving family, someone was guaranteed to comment on my what I was eating or not eating, how much weight I lost or gained, and my appearance.
Holidays often mean that our regular routines are disrupted—we are eating at a different time, in a different place (perhaps a relative’s home), or worse yet—a restaurant. And if anyone knows we are having issues, well meaning relatives and friends will often take notice of how much or little we are eating. Unfortunate yet well intended remarks such as “You look great” translate to “I gained weight” in the mind of a recovering anorexic.
Food buffets, family dinners, and holiday parties strike panic into the heart of most people who are struggling with weight issues. Attempts to avoid eating or avoiding attending at all are usually met with anger and frustration from family members and friends.
What used to be happy and festive is often dreaded and avoided. It is a very difficult time. I tell all of my patients that the goal is to get through the holidays through effective stress management and family interventions. For some, it helps to let family and friends know in advance that you are coping with some food issues and that their support and understanding will be much appreciated if they do not focus or comment on what you are doing and your appearance. When they know you are under professional care they will often cooperate with what we request. I have many coping strategies that can help you or your loved one get through the holidays with less stress and more enjoyment. Please give me a call or send an email to discuss how I may be of assistance.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be very disruptive to one’s daily life. The impact upon one’s job, relationships and family can range from mild to severe.
I often see children as well as adults who are struggling with the symptoms of this disorder.
While medication is frequently prescribed and can be helpful, by itself it will not provide long term, lasting relief from symptoms.
My own approach to treatment depends upon how severe are the symptoms and how much they are interfering with an individual’s functioning. For the more severe, a combination of medication and cognitive-behavioral (CBT) and Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) are the way to go, with the eventual goal of coming off medication.
For those who are not as severe, CBT and SFT alone are highly effective.
See the New York Times article on this.
Here is a really terrific article from the NY Times with 10 excellent tips for coping with those first few weeks:
They are talking about preschool but it is really the same thing for daycare. The only thing I would add is that it is really important that you let your child know that you will miss him/her too, but you are very excited about hearing about their school day. Role model stability and confidence. Children have the best radar-if they sense you are shaky it throws them off too.
With college students back to their dorms and children and adolescents back to school, the school year has officially started.
In a few weeks I will start receiving calls from concerned parents, school guidance counselors, and a few college students about emerging issues with school related matters such as attendance, school and class anxieties, truancy, and school refusal. There will also be a few calls about possible eating disorders.
Teachers and teacher aides also come to therapy when they seek assistance dealing with difficult colleagues, principals, administrators, challenging students, and demanding parents. Teachers, by the way, are great in therapy-they are so committed to being their best at what they do and improving themselves.
So what is the difference between school refusal and truancy? In the eyes of the school, not much, since in both cases the end result is that the child does not attend school. With truancy, it is because the adolescent does not like school, may be angry, and is adverse to attending. Usually, there is some kind of issue with either the school, a teacher, a classmate, or a dislike for school work (which often is due to feelings of inadequacy or boredom). Truancy is a form of acting out behavior which is a red flag for an underlying issue. At times, truancy is a sign of problems in the home. When an adolescent cuts class or skips school, it is usually without the parents’ knowledge and consent. They may be abusing drugs, suffering from an eating disorder ( which makes lunch time unbearable), or socializing with the wrong crowd of friends.
With school refusal, the reason the child does not attend school is typically due to fear of some aspect of school or fear of leaving a parent. It may be bullying, fear of failure, fear of any number of things associated with school, or fear of being away from a parent during school hours. Often in the latter case, the child has some fears for the parent’s or his/her own wellbeing and safety. Occasionally, a child has an anxiety disorder or other issue that precludes their attending school that is unrelated to the above. For example, a child with claustrophobia or an eating disorder may avoid school. School refusal is frequently associated with physical symptoms such as stomach aches, headaches, etc., along with chronic tardiness, leaving school early, and a high number of absences. When children are in the midst of their parents’ divorce, they may have issues with school attendance that are symptomatic of their emotional turmoil from the impending divorce.
The good news for truancy, school refusal, child and adolescent anxieties, and eating disorders is that with the help of a professional, the issues can be resolved, I often work with the family and the school to make special arrangements that will enable the child to comfortably return to class. In the case of truancy, it is important to listen to the adolescents concerns and work with them in addressing what underlies the truancy.
In the case of divorcing parents, it is essential that the child’s emotional needs are addressed to facilitate a comfortable return to school. Since children cannot always express those needs in words it comes out in their behavior. Therapy is very effective in helping children through their parents’ divorce.
If your child or adolescent is showing signs of school refusal, anxiety, or truancy, please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may be of assistance. 908-500-7295
Recently in New Jersey Gay Conversion Therapy, a very harmful type of treatment, was banned.
The goal of this so called therapy was to change or deny a person’s sexual orientation. What it actually did do was increase depression, anxiety, shame, and suicidal ideation.
Yes, absolutely. But it does depend upon a few very important factors.
1. Remorse from the one who had the affair
2. Re-establishment of Trust.
3. Transparency which is essential to re-establish trust
4. Commitment to the process of healing as guided by Marriage Counseling & Psychotherapy
5. Patience with the process to allow long term healing and growth both individually and for the marriage.
Here is a link to a nice little New York Times article on this topic:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/11/booming/when-cheatings-the-issue-remorse-helps.html
This question often comes up in therapy. I worry less about amounts and more about the effects upon a person’s daily living, health, and family. Not to say that amounts don’t matter.
I work from a Harm Reduction point of view-meaning that together we identify what your goals are with drinking and your life and how to get there. Sobriety is not always the goal-the goal is up to you.
Here is a great little quiz to take to get an objective idea of how your alcohol consumption measures up to norms.
Many people come for counseling for career and job related stress management.
Aside from teaching them stress management, I also help them examine whether the job or career they have is a good fit and what to do if it isn’t.
We spend about a third of our time working. Many people I know spend even more time than that. Life is too short to spend all that time doing something that you don’t like or in a place you are uncomfortable.
This a great article on how to find work you love and having a career path that is fulfilling
http://www.dailygood.org/story/499/6-ways-to-find-work-you-love-roman-krznaric/
See our article on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Do You Hate Your Job?
Some therapists recommend couples in troubled marriages make a last ditch effort to save the marriage by taking a vacation together.
Generally, I don’t recommend this as I see it as a way to have an expensive breakup in a beautiful place. But really, It all depends upon the couple. If we (the couple and myself) agree it might be worth the chance and the negative fallout would be minimal if it doesn’t go well (by that I mean there won’t be horrible fighting during the trip and the trip itself won’t be a financial burden), then I say why not give it a try.
I have had many first time calls for appointments from couples on vacation together. That I do recommend. Often things come to a head on vacation and the pressure and apprehension of time together can be relieved knowing that things will be sorted out in counseling.
Here is a link to the New York Times article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/01/fashion/the-hail-mary-moon.html
Anger Management Training is very helpful for individuals who feel they need to learn how to best manage their anger and negative emotions. I also provide Court-Mandated Anger Management.
If you have been ordered by the Court or advised by your attorney to seek Anger Management Training, it is important to comply with the Court order as soon as possible. I provide effective Anger Management Training in a private and individual setting (not in groups). that fully satisfies the requirements of the Court Order. As required, letters to the Court and/or your probation officer are provided with your authorization.
I can usually schedule you for your first appointment and have your documentation to the court or probation officier the same week you call me for your appointment.
Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.
Often I receive calls from either individuals looking for anger management classes or a court law clerk requesting information on behalf of a judge. I thought it might be helpful to provide an informational synopsis of how I do anger management. I do a great deal of anger management training for people who are either ordered by the Court or self-referred because they want to feel better about how they manage their emotions. Here is the summary.
Court Mandated Anger Management Training
Anger management training will consist of:
-An assessment of your anger as well as your strengths, and a psychological assessment that may include a quantitative anger measure
-Regular session attendance
-Therapeutic interventions include: Cognitive Behavioral Theray (CBT) , Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) , Glasser’s Control Theory, and – Narrative Therapy.
The number of sessions will be determined by:
1. If court ordered, minimally, what the court requires
2. Your progress in treatment
3. The average course of anger management is 6-12 sessions. Cancelled sessions do not count and if they are not cancelled with 24 hours notice, you will be responsible for the session fee. No exceptions.
4. Dr. Rollings works in full compliance with the Court and the Judge’s orders. Anger Management Training is provided one on one, not in groups, and not in anger management classes.
Your initial session will include:
-Assessment of your anger as well as of your strengths
-Assessment of any co-existing alcohol or drug issues
-Assessment of the role alcohol or drugs have played in the incident
In Anger Management Training, you will learn to:
-Accept responsibility for your behavior no matter what anyone else has done
-Understand what underlies your anger
-Become aware of what triggers your anger
-Become aware of the negative patterns you are in with others
-Adopt more functional patterns of behavior, thought, and speech
-Understand the difference between being assertive and acting angry
-Use practical and effective techniques to resolve conflict
-Learn the difference between reacting and responding and how to become less reactive
-Use Mindfulness meditation and Relaxation techniques
-Learn to use personal time outs effectively
-Commit to change what you can change and accept that you cannot control others
-Choose to be in control of my behavior and thoughts in any given situation no matter how provocative
-Increase self-control and self-awareness.
-Gain awareness of the story you are telling yourself about any given situation and how it affects what you think, how you feel, and what you do (your behavior)
-Where applicable, become aware of the impact and effects our alcohol and/or substance use have upon your behavior, relationships, and life.
In Summary, you will learn effective coping strategies and techniques that you will find helpful in dealing with all types of situations and with all kinds of people.
For further information, please feel free to call or email me. DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295
ADD or ADHD is perhaps the most over-diagnosed yet under-treated disorder in both children and adults. While medication is undeniably helpful to those who have an attention deficit disorder, medication by itself is not sufficient.
Treatment that does not include psychotherapy can lead to an over-reliance on medication. Children and adults benefit enormously from learning strategies and coping techniques to help them stay focused and on task.
If untreated, children with attention deficit disorders can develop low self esteem, lack confidence, and do poorly in school. For some, the frustration and helplessness they feel can lead to angry and defiant behavior, acting out, and despair at not fitting in with their peers.
Many parents are wisely reluctant to put their children on psychotropic medication as they fear side effects and dependency. The drugs that are most commonly prescribed to treat attention deficit disorders in children are stimulants (amphetamines). In many instances, although the medication is an essential component of treatment, it should not be depended upon for lasting change and is not helpful in treating the social, emotional and psychological issues that may result from having an attention deficit disorder.
Please contact me to discuss how I may help you or your child develop effective coping strategies to foster increased self-efficacy, self esteem, and confidence.
See my latest blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Coping Tips for Adult ADHD
About this time of year, I begin receiving phone calls from college students who are either freshmen entering college for their first semester away from home, or upper classmen, who are struggling with anxiety and/or depressed moods over having to return to college. Eating disorders are also prevalent and often the pressures of going to college where there are overwhelming food choices and none of the comforts of home creates a great deal of anxiety for the student. Often, a concerned Mom will make the initial call to me for assistance.
Because time is of the essence, typically, we try to get in as many sessions as are needed and are possible before the student leaves for school. Then I either coordinate with a therapist at the college counseling center or continue treatment with the student myself whenever they have the opportunity to be home. Phone sessions are also possible for those who are a long distance away.
The adjustment to college and pressures experienced by college students today lead many to seek counseling and psychotherapy. Treatment is highly effective and concerned parents should waste no time in talking with their sons and daughters about options for therapy.
Please contact me for further information regarding therapy options for a college student.
As one who has suffered herself from panic attacks with agoraphobia, I know personally and professionally what it takes to recover from anxiety and panic. While normal anxiety is essential to survival, anxiety becomes problematic when our fears and worry begin interfering with daily living. Anxiety can become debilitating—we begin to fear certain situations and circumstances and avoid going places where we think we might have a problem or have a panic attack. Grocery stores, shopping malls, buses, long car rides, airplanes, concerts, and other situations are avoided so much that our lives and those of our loved ones become disrupted. Friends and relatives who initially may have been supportive and understanding soon lose their patience as they find themselves having to compensate for whatever it is you may be avoiding. Your world becomes smaller and smaller as you seek to avoid all of the places and things that might cause anxiety or panic.
It absolutely does not have to be this way—with professional help you can overcome anxiety and panic attacks and not be dependent upon medication for the rest of your life.
I treat individuals who suffer from Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, test anxiety, school anxiety (often mistakenly diagnosed as school refusal), fears of swallowing and choking, and more. Excessive anxiety in any form can interfere with your life.
In the very first session you will learn techniques to help you cope effectively and permanently with anxiety and panic. You will have a “therapeutic toolbox” of coping strategies and techniques that you will be able to use when you are feeling anxious so that you will no longer be afraid to do the things you want and need to do.
Please contact me to discuss how I can be of assistance to you. You can feel better and live a more fulfilling life that is not hampered by anxiety.
For more information, please see our blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Conquering Anxiety
and see this short piece on how to calm down quickly: 3 Ways to Calm Down
For those who have been diagnosed with a mental disorder such as psychosis or schizophrenia, treatment is long term and often fraught with ups and downs as medications are adjusted or changed and life stressors affect the course of treatment.
Supportive psychotherapy combined with the help of a good psychiatrist are essential components to long term stability.
The challenges you face with having a mental illness can be difficult for even the most well intended family and friends to understand. Psychotherapy can help you stay grounded, out of the hospital, and help you manage your illness in the most optimal way. With your consent, I will collaborate with your other treatment providers to ensure your treatment is coordinated and optimized to your particular needs..
Please contact me to discuss how I may be of assistance to you in the recovery from and management of a mental illness.
As one who weighed over 200 pounds herself, I understand the ups and downs of dieting, weight loss, and the daily challenges of being overweight. In our society and in our families, food is not just food–it is a way of belonging, of comfort, and fun. Recreational eating (excessive unhealthy snacking) is a wide spread problem.
In therapy, one learns that food is neither my friend or my enemy–and that with some positive lifestyle changes, dieting is no longer necessary. The increased self-esteem and health benefits of finally shedding the excess weight and keeping it off are tremendous.
I do not advocate diets or deprivation-and there are not always deep seated reasons why one overeats that need to be uncovered in therapy. No matter what the causes are, we still need to make some healthy changes. I will work with you to create a practical new lifestyle that incorporates healthy eating and reasonable movement and/or exercise. It is a thoroughly individualized approach that has as its goal long term stability. No more yo yo dieting. It is hard on you and on your body.
Please contact me to discuss how we can work together to ensure long term success.
See my blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center on Healthy Weight Loss: Are You Struggling with Weight Gain?
I have had the privilege of serving the LGBTQ+ community for many years with counseling and psychotherapy for indivduals and couples. I worked for several years in San Francisco where I had the opportunity to work in the gay community with individuals and couples. Although this is an exciting time for LGBTQ+ rights, more and more couples and families are coming for help with their blended families and the stressors of everyday family life.
Supportive psychotherapy for those who are in the process of gender change can be very helpful. It is an exciting time that is fraught with social, emotional, and psychological adjustments for both you and your loved ones.
Important Note: I am strongly against any “therapy” that seeks to change a person’s sexual orientation or in any way pathologizes homosexual, bisexual, asexual, or transsexual behavior or orientation. Therapy with the goal of changing one’s orientation can be very harmful and fortunately in some states is now illegal.The goal of therapy is to help you BE who you are-not change it.
I fully support gender reassignment and psychotherapy.
Please contact me to discuss how I may best be of assistance to you and your loved ones.
In today’s high pressure and fast paced world, children and adults are finding relief through learning stress management techniques. Whether you are a corporate executive, a busy parent, or child with school and extra curricular commitments, learning how to manage the stress is very helpful. Even positive events can be emotionally stressful.
If you or your child suffers from feeling overwhelmed, is having difficulty sleeping, is irritable, has mood swings-and symptoms such as headaches, upset stomach, body aches for which your physician finds no medical cause, you will benefit from learning stress management techniques.
Job burnout is another reason folks come to therapy to learn stress management techniques.
Post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD can greatly interfere with one’s daily functioning. Left untreated, PTSD can become chronic. Anxiety, emotional turmoil, agitation, and nightmares are very disruptive and often lead to feelings of helplessness and depression. Fortunately, effective treatment is available.
If you believe you or a loved one is suffering from PTSD, schedule an appointment for an assessment and treatment plan. I will be happy to discuss how we can work together to help you heal from the trauma you have suffered.
I work with adolescents and adults on many types of addictions:
and more.
I do not treat sexual addictions.
I utilize a Harm Reduction approach to treating Substance abuse and addictions. Harm Reduction is a highly effective, nonjudmental and collaborative way to limit and reduce the harm addictions bring to our lives and those of our loved ones. Goals are formed in therapy collaboratively. With a Harm Reduction Approach, sobriety is not always the goal.
For those who prefer a Twelve Step approach, I am happy to assist you attain and maintain your sobriety.
I have seen great success with both approaches and working together with you will help you reach your therapeutic goals.
I work with many children, adolescents, and families on a wide range of issues that include the following:
and more. With your permission, I can intervene with the school to ensure your child’s needs are addressed and frequently help resolve disciplinary matters with schools.
Please contact me to discuss how I may best be of assistance to you and your child.
See my latest post on Children and Therapy on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Therapy for Children
Studies show that supportive psychotherapy paired with good medication monitoring is the most efficacious and successful treatment of mood disorders such as the Bipolar disorders, Schizoaffective disorder, and Major Depressive disorder.
With your consent, I will collaborate with your psychiatrist to develop the best treatment approach for you. If you are in need of a psychiatrist, I can make recommendations.
Family members and partners of those who suffer from mood disorders often benefit from therapy as well–They gain a clearer understanding of their loved one’s problems and are better equipped to deal with the issues that may arise.
Please contact me to discuss how I may best be of assistance to you. With the good care, stability and long-term happiness are possible.
Lacking confidence and having low self-esteem can lead to problems in school, at home, at work, and with friends. Therapy can be very beneficial for children and adolescents and it is especially important to intervene when they appear to be struggling. Adults benefit from therapy in that when we feel more confident and better about ourselves, it shows in how we behave at work, school, with family, and friends.
Feeling a good sense of self-worth means we value and appreciate who we are, which translates into more confident and successful behavior in our relationships, at work, and in our lives.
Please call me to discuss how I will work with you or your child on building confidence and positive self esteem.
Family conflict and disharmony often is the result of years of behavioral and communication patterns family members have with each other. What was once functional, is now dysfunctional. Communication issues are common as are problems with in-laws and the extended family. We cannot change other people, but we can change our own behavior and how we respond to them. Family conflict and disharmony is often more difficult around holidays and family gatherings when the the potential for conflict is high. Learning new ways to interact and how to break free of old dysfunctional patterns is a goal of treatment.
Grudges and unresolved arguments can create negative and unhealthy dynamics -often over decades.
Blended families (married partners with children from other relationships) have unique challenges with how to parent, how to get along, and how to communicate.
Family therapy can be conducted with as few as two family members present. Please call to discuss how I would work with you and your family on resolving those issues that are causing conflict and disharmony.
Infidelity has a huge impact on a marriage. The person who had the affair wants things to be less volatile and may wish to work on the marriage. Their partner may have a great deal of insecurity and hurt. Trust is shattered and communication is often emotional and difficult. In counseling, a couple can learn from past mistakes, heal, and move forward together in a positive and rejuvenated relationship. Healing takes time but is possible.
The emotional fallout after the discovery of an affair can be a terrible roller coaster ride of mixed emotions such as hurt, anger, fear, confusion, and more.
Sometimes couples come to therapy feeling unsure that they even want to stay together.
With counseling, stability, healing, and sound decision making are possible. Please feel free to contact me to discuss how I would approach your specific issues.
I provide couples and marriage counseling for a wide range of relationship issues.
Communication problems, parenting issues (where parents do not agree on how to parent), intimacy issues, lack of connection, trust issues, and infidelity–including emotional affairs.
Even in the best relationships, patterns that were once functional and helpful may become dysfunctional and disruptive. Identifying what those patterns are and how to change them can help a couple break out of a negative and unproductive cycle. These patterns are often road blocks to improved intimacy, communications and happiness together.
Even in the most difficult circumstances, in therapy, couples often find ways to move past bad times and either stay together in a stronger relationship/marriage or separate/divorce in a less contentious manner.
Occasionally couples come to marriage counseling with the goal of separating.
Whether the intention is to stay together or separate, our goal in therapy is for either a harmonious marriage or a harmonious divorce. Ugly divorces cause more pain and suffering to everyone.
Please feel free to contact me to discuss how I may be of assistance with the relationship issues that have caused you to seek professional help.
Depression and depressed moods are experienced by everyone at some point in life. Sometimes there are events, relationships, or circumstances that cause one to feel depressed. Other times it seems hard to find a reason. To people on the outside, your life appears fine-your life is “great” yet you just feel tired, down, and can’t motivate yourself to do anything. If you are depressed you may find you are wanting to sleep more, eat more, and lack interest in participating in things you normally enjoy.
Depression can vary from an occasional blue day to days, weeks, and longer of feeling sad, unfocused, and unmotivated. People often come to therapy when they feel the depression is interfering too much with their lives and they just want to feel happy again.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (also known as SAD) is another common form of depression that is highly treatable.
I use a comprehensive and collaborative approach in treating depression that is tailored to the unique needs of each person. Please feel free to give me a call or send an email to discuss how I may be of assistance to you.
You can feel better and the sooner you start therapy, the sooner you will feel some relief.
Read Dr. Marion’s blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center’s website: Are you Depressed?
Use these in conjunction with regular psychotherapy and you will absolutely feel better:
1. Don’t Panic by Scottish hypnotherapist Andrew Johnson. Very helpful hypnosis app. (about $3)
2. Breathe2Relax. Great biofeedback-type app to learn how to breathe naturally and effectively to reduce anxiety (Free).
3. T2 Mood Tracker. Nice app to help you become aware of
Anxiety levels (as well as other mood states) and note events or triggers to identify patterns. Simple yet useful. (Free)
4.Mindfulness Meditation. Mindfulness meditation helps to root out the causes of anxiety and panic and is a great way to learn to calm down. This app was developed by a respected Buddhist psychotherapist ($1.99)
5. Naturespace. A collection of relaxing nature sounds that are soothing and help cultivate a calm and peace-filled environment. (Free, with options to buy more tracks)
As of this writing, all are available for both iPhone and Android phones
With Summer finally here, schools are out, vacations begin, and the relaxed pace of the season chases away all of our Winter blues. With the damp and cool Spring behind us, most people are enjoying the longer days and warm weather. Right?
Well, not everyone. While it is true that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects more people in the Winter months (ninety percent of those with SAD), an estimated ten percent suffer during the sunny Summer months. Overall, SAD affects about 4-6 percent of the population-but I think it is more than that.
Characterized in Winter by depressed mood, lethargy, and often, weight gain, treatment typically consists of bright light therapy, vitamin D supplementation, exercise, psychotherapy, and for some, medication. I also recommend keeping your living and working spaces well lit, and generally creating an atmosphere of light and comfort with candles, flowers, music, and healthy eating. Exercise is extremely helpful (and is for all types of depression and anxiety)
With Summer SAD or Reverse SAD, the onset of longer days, rising temperatures, humidity, and outdoor activities in the blazing sun brings on a depressed mood, anxiety, lethargy, and loss of appetite. Sleep patterns are often disrupted too.
Effective treatment for Summer SAD includes supportive psychotherapy to learn and enhance coping skills, exercise early or late in the day to avoid the bright sun and heat, and occasionally, medication. Many people find relief spending time indoors in air conditioned sanctuaries where the use of cool drinks, shaded windows, and indoor activities and exercise help them feel comfortable. Longer days often mean a disruption in eating patterns, so eating healthy is important. Planning activities and utilizing coping strategies helps to minimize the stress and anxiety often associated with Summer SAD.
With the help of a skilled psychologist, you or your loved one can learn how to not just endure but truly enjoy the Summer season. SAD is highly treatable and now is the time to kick those Summer Blues for good.