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Although Art Therapy has been around for many years, it is finally gaining recognition as an important, valuable, and effective therapy. It is cutting edge and studies show that it actually helps children, teens, and adults with a wide range of issues.

To help people understand what it is and how it can help you, we recently launched a new website dedicated to Art Therapy. My colleague at Holistic Health Counseling Center, Lauren Fallat, is a talented Psychotherapist and Board Certified Art Therapist.

Lauren has written many excellent articles on Art Therapy for the new website. Be sure to check it out. Topics include: How it works, what to expect, art therapy with children, teens, adults, art therapy materials, and so much more.

To learn more about Art Therapy and how it may help you or your family member: https://www.arttherapynj.com/

To learn more about Lauren: Meet Lauren Fallat, MA LPC ATR-BC

For more about Holistic Health Counseling Center: https://holistichealthcounselingcenter.com/

A lot has been written about having a positive outlook. But what does that really mean? In the midst of the stress of everyday life and turmoil and tragedies of the world, it may sound like a difficult thing to have. There is much to be gained from learning how to be more positive.

Negative Thinkers

For some people, negative thinking is their default way of approaching life. There are many who don’t see themselves as negative, but they believe themselves to be “realistic.” But negative thinking has a negative impact upon their health, and can sometimes become a self-fulfilling prophesy.  They are often unaware of how their negative thinking has become habitual. Negative thinking affects self confidence and relationships. It is hard to live with someone who is a negative thinkers.

How Can Therapy Help?

Working with a psychotherapist, one can develop awareness and insight to what underlies negative thinking. One can also learn how to develop more balanced, and positive attitudes. The impact upon self esteem, confidence, and relationships can be amazing.

Contact Us

If you would like to develop a more positive attitude or if you live with a negative thinker, it can be helpful to learn effective ways of coping with them. Please give us a call or send an email. We will be happy to discuss with you how we may work together. To schedule an appointment, please click on the Book Now button.

Please check out the recent blog on Positive Thinking on my Counseling Center website: How to be More Positive and this one 5 Ways to Stop Worrying

Are you a person who has had some positive experiences in talk therapy but can’t seem to convince your partner or other family member to try therapy? Sometimes it’s because they don’t see the point of talking with a stranger, other times it is because they are not very good at talking about themselves or their feelings. I recommend Art Therapy for everyone, but it can often be helpful for people who don’t like the idea of talk therapy or haven’t found it helpful. Or even if they feel there are things they just can’t articulate. Art Therapy is a creative, interactive type of therapy where with guidance from the Art Therapist, you are able to access, express, and process complex emotions. It is safe and effective and fun.

Art therapy is very helpful with grief and depression as well as ADHD (helps with concentration and focus), and anxiety.  Teens and college students find it gives them inspiration and helps them to creatively work through their emotions. Studies show it is helpful for a wide range of issues for all ages.

In the past, I would have cases that I felt would greatly benefit from a combined approach of art therapy and psychotherapy. I would search to find independent Art Therapists to refer people to, but they are a rare find here in New Jersey. When I opened Holistic Health Counseling Center, it was a goal to find a good Art Therapist to invite to join our Staff.

I am very pleased to say that I not only found a great Art Therapist, but I found one who is experienced as a licensed professional counselor and Art Therapist. Lauren Fallat, LPC ATR-BC will be joining me in June. The good news is that it is possible to book an appointment with her now for June. If you or a family member are in need of therapy sooner, I will be happy to provide psychotherapy until your first appointment with Lauren, who can do both psychotherapy and Art therapy with you.

To schedule an appointment with Lauren, Professional Counselor and Art Therapist, please click on the Book Now button, and then Lauren Fallat as the therapist. Then you may select the day and time that works best for you. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to give me a call or send an email (908-857-4422 or info@hhccnj.com). Please also check out our website: https://holistichealthcounselingcenter.com/

Lauren Fallat, LPC ATR-BC Licensed Professional Counselor & Art Therapist

See the latest blog on Mental Health Care on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Your Mental Health Care

Check out Lauren’s blogs on our Art Therapy website: https://www.arttherapynj.com/blog

Naturally, during this challen

Many therapists are offering phone or video sessions via HIPAA compliant video platforms that are safe and reliable. With Teletherapy (Telehealth), you are able to literally see your therapist from the comfort and safety of your home or office. No worries about catching anything, traveling in bad weather, being stuck in traffic, etc.

Following the outbreak and spread of the COVID-19, I started offering phone and video sessions to all of my patients. There is the obvious reason that we all want to be safe and avoid becoming infected and spreading the virus.

Teletherapy is a great way to see your therapist without any worries over potential exposure to any illnesses, like COVID-19 or the Flu, Strep Throat, etc.

If you are experiencing anxiety or having other issues that you would like to talk over with a psychotherapist, please contact me to discuss if Teletherapy is an option for you. If you reside in New Jersey, the State of Florida, or certain parts of the world outside of the United States, we may be able to work together. I may be reached at DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295. To Book an Appointment Now, click on the Book Now button on the right, underneath the photo of me and my dog or up top on the left.

One Summer when I was about 12, I took a book out of the library about Handwriting Analysis. I was very interested in learning how to analyze my own and other people’s handwriting. I was fascinated by the notion that one can learn about an individual’s personality by analyzing their handwriting. Fast forward many years later, and here I am, once again, studying handwriting analysis-also known as Graphology. In my psychotherapy practice, I don’t do psychological testing (I find it boring but know a few psychologists who like it and do it well so I refer to them). I do occasionally pull out the Rorschach, which is a projective test, or I may ask a child patient to draw me their house and/or their family so that I can interpret their drawings. I also do quite a bit of Dream Analysis. I not only interpret dreams that my patients have, but I also teach them how to do it for themselves. I use an integrative approach that is strongly Jungian (although I am trained in several modalities, including Freudian and Gestalt).

I have long been interested in using projective and fun techniques to help people gain insight and understanding of what underlies their behavior, thoughts, and relationship patterns. Although for the most part, children are no longer taught cursive writing, most adults can read and write cursive. Even though so much of our lives are digitalized and electronic, there are many times we need to hand write notes, sign documents, jot down a post it, or even write out a card, thank you note, or letter.

There are distinct psychological benefits to handwriting. Studies show that when we take notes by writing them out manually (as opposed to typing them on a laptop or tablet), we assimilate the information better and experience improved recall. Neurologically, there are significant gains in eye-hand coordination when we practice hand writing.

Your signature and your handwriting are personal expressions of who you are. Have you ever thought about why you write your name the way you do? Have you ever noticed how some people slant their handwriting, write ornately, use pressure when they write, or have very creative or illegible handwriting?

After years of writing in charts, my handwriting was terrible. When electronic health records became a thing, I no longer had that excuse. But nonetheless, my handwriting was terrible. So I started studying calligraphy–for the sole reason of improving my handwriting. I also noticed that I write better with certain pens-especially fountain pens. So I went on eBay and bought a bunch of inexpensive pens. I recommend buying a beautiful journal and a nice pen or two where you can jot down or draw dreams, doodle, keep notes, whatever you want to do. Although I am all for using Alexa, Siri, and other artificial intelligence options to help me with reminders, keeping my shopping list, and more, there’s a pure pleasure involved with writing things down. Try it, I think you will see what I mean.

One of the things I am planning to add to my patient intake paperwork is a request for a writing sample. I think most people will be interested in this unique way of gaining insight and understanding of themselves.  Handwriting analysis is something I will be incorporating into my work.

If you would like to schedule an appointment to meet with me, please click on the “Book Now” button, which will take you to my client portal. There you will see my availability in both offices for the next two months. You will be able to select the date and time that works best for you.

If you would like more information about handwriting analysis, check out these two professional organizations:

American Association of Handwriting Analysts (AAHA)

American Handwriting Analysis Foundation (AHAF)

Photo by ipet photo on Unsplash

A recent article talked about the importance of having friends and acquaintances and their impact upon one’s mental health and well being. Countless studies have demonstrated the importance of friendship. While periods of solitude are normal and healthy, isolation is harmful and deleterious to one’s physical and psychological health.

Not to sound silly,  but I think dogs seem to understand this. Have you ever watched dogs when they meet their friends? Whether it be people or other dogs, they are typically overjoyed. And it’s contagious.

If you or a loved one struggle with making or maintaining friendships, or feel awkward in social situations, please give me a call or email me to discuss how I may help you work through those issues and learn effective coping strategies that will enable you to develop confidence in social situations and form new, healthy friendships and make more acquaintances. I can be reached at DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295.

The New York Times Smarter Living column did a great job of expanding on the topic of the value of casual friendships and acquaintances. Find the article here: Why You Need Casual Friendships

Living in noisy New Jersey, we are exposed to a lot of sound-some of which is noise. But what about sound that is healing? Music can be very therapeutic and healing. Studies show that listening to Mozart can be as effective as a benzodiazepine before surgery. Tibetan Singing Bowls are an example of a very old type of Sound Healing. And they are fun! Not everyone has a singing bowl but there are apps that actually mimic them as well as sound tracks that do. If you don’t have access to one or aren’t interested in them, I recommend that you make a playlist of uplifting music. Listen to your playlist when you are having a hard time. It can help. If you find that you continue to have a difficult time and your usual coping strategies aren’t helping, please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how we might work together. You can also schedule an appointment on my website by clicking on the “Book Now” button

Tibetan Singing Bowl

Just as a followup to my previous blog on children and internet use, here’s a great article on social media apps your child might be using:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/06/style/teen-apps-bullying.html?emc=edit_th_20170907&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=65386032

It’s essential reading in my opinion.

If you are in conflict with your teen over their phone and social media use, please give me a call to discuss how I can help you better work through these issues with them and navigate the ever changing digital world your child is immersed in. 908-500-7295 or DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com

I am sometimes asked how to tell the difference.  While from a professional’s point of view, it is pretty clear cut, it’s not always the case for a concerned family member or friend of someone suspected of having an Eating Disorder. Or even for a person who has an Eating Disorder. Before I was diagnosed, I didn’t realize it myself. I was in denial and it took a supervisor who had herself recovered from an ED to show me that I had one. In its early stages, my physician even missed it. I think this general list can be helpful in discerning the difference between an ED and a diet for the nonprofessional.

The difference between weight-loss diets and eating disorders can be difficult to identify but it generally falls where food-related behaviors cease to promote good health.

1. Dieting is integrated into one’s life without interfering with one’s responsibilities or everyday activities. Eating Disorders take control of people’s lives.

2. Healthy dieters take a balanced approach to weight loss, combining healthy eating practices with daily exercise, and usually understand that dieting takes time. Those with an Eating Disorder may be obsessed with losing weight and will often do whatever it takes to shed pounds as quickly as possible.

3. People on diets may feel uneasy with their appearance, and may strongly desire to lose weight, but they tend to view themselves realistically. People with eating disorders, on the other hand, often have distorted views and may see themselves as overweight no matter what size they are.

4. Healthy dieters generally do not feel depressed or down on themselves when they mess up. People with eating disorders are often depressed and filled with regret and self-loathing when they fail to live up to the impossibly high standards they set for themselves.

5. Dieting can be a fun social activity. People with eating disorders usually suffer alone and do not enjoy what they do.

6. Healthy dieting should make the person stronger and fitter in many respects. Eating disorder sufferers often become progressively less healthy, damaging their bodies in significant ways.

7.  People with eating disorders diet even when they are at a healthy weight and would not benefit from weight loss. Healthy dieters seek to maintain weight when their goal is reached.

Source: The Cambridge Eating Disorder Center

To read about Body Image Issues, check out this blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Body Image Issues

Do you have trouble getting a good night’s sleep? Falling asleep and staying asleep? If so, you are among approximately 60 MILLION people in the United States who suffer from insomnia. Disturbances in sleep are associated with Depression, Anxiety, and other medical issues. In some cases, I refer patients for sleep studies to obtain an accurate diagnosis.

Recent studies have demonstrated the efficacy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Fortunately, this approach to treatment is painless and uncomplicated. I recommend an effective, online program that has been shown as highly effective in the treatment of insomnia. The online program is optional.

If you or a loved one or friend are suffering from sleep disturbances or insomnia, please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may be of assistance. 

For more info on insomnia, check out this blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center’s website: Do You Have Trouble Sleeping?

Everyone starts their recovery for their own reason. Mine eventually became that I couldn’t stand being so cold all of the time. Never mind the Osteoporosis I developed at age 30, the Amenorrhea I had for 7 years, or that my hair was falling out. All of which were important and even urgent reasons to recover. But it was the feeling cold all the time (freezing really), and Raynaud’s Syndrome (blue fingers and nose), that did it. I was sick and tired of having to take hot baths to warm up. 

I was also really very tired from the endless worry about what I was eating. Excessive exercise was tiring too. I was just tired. 

I could see that I was too thin, but I liked it. Sick, I know, but if you are reading this and you are suffering from Anorexia, you know exactly what I mean. Of course, at first, I didn’t see that I was too thin. But after some treatment and a lot of serious talks from my sister, my colleagues, and friends, I could finally see it.

You can be thin, healthy, and happy or skinny, unhealthy or DEAD. The long term health effects of an ED are horrendous and it is the most deadly psychiatric disorder. So find YOUR reason to recover. 

If you are reading this and you think you have Anorexia or have been told you have it, think about this: Your recovery and road to good health can start right now. Right now, as you read this you are opening yourself to the hard facts of Anorexia, and to the choice of better health.  It starts right now. You can do it. You can do it and be thin, happy, and healthy. I did it and I am no better than you are. If I could recover so can you. 

I don’t quantify recovery by numbers-weight, calories, etc., that’s not my department. Your physician handles that side of it.  My focus is on your mental and emotional well being. Numbers cause a lot of stress and anxiety-my job is to help you manage your emotions, and mentally equip you with the tools you need to recover. I have coping strategies, techniques, and more that I know can work.

With the holidays coming up, I will work very hard to help you get through them. I offer much between session support by text, email, and phone. Before, during and after those holiday meals and gatherings. 

Please feel free to give me a call or send me an email to discuss your road to recovery. 908-500-7295 or DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com

Here is an article about the long term effects of EDs: ARTICLE 

Although one of my heroes in college was Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (who postulated the stages of grief), I never set out to specialize in grief and bereavement (I also treat other issues-Anxiety, Eating Disorders, and more see here).  But like the Dr. Deborah Derman, author of Colors of Loss and Healing, an adult coloring book and journal, I suffered a lot of significant loss at a young age. Starting at age 8, our family dog died, then at age 12, I had the usual losses of my beloved Great-Grandmother, then my grandfather. Then aunts, uncles, and close family friends passed. At age 24, my first husband died of a rare form of leukemia-followed three months later by my grandfather and several more family pets. My mother died when I was 30. My sister died suddenly of an embolism and nearly a year to the day, my father died of leukemia. Therapy helped me find my way through those losses. And it is important to me to help others through their grief and loss.

I am often asked “Will it get better? Will it stop hurting so much?” And yes, it will. It will always hurt, but we can find our way to live around the holes in our hearts by loving more and hurting less. But I won’t lie-it’s a long journey. There is a sad beauty to it though and comfort can be found in poetry, art, music, and supportive psychotherapy. 

Loss and grief are natural and part of life and not to be viewed as dysfunctional. Therapy can help get us through the pain and fear by helping us assimilate our losses in healthy ways. Empathy and compassion are key elements of this kind of therapy, as well as learning how to cope with the tidal waves of grief that make us feel like we are drowning. 

I really like Dr. Derman’s book and recommend it to my patients. Another book that is quite a great read is Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala, who lost her entire family to a tsunami. 

See our recent blog on Grief on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Coping with Grief & Counseling  

see also: 3 Things to Help with Grief

Dr. Derman’s book Colors of Loss and Healing on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Colors-Loss-Healing-Coloring-Getting/dp/1530602130/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1463837783&sr=8-1&keywords=Coloring+through+loss

Sonali Deraniyagala’s book Wave on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Wave-Sonali-Deraniyagala-ebook/dp/B009Y4I4QU?ie=UTF8&qid=1463837949&ref_=la_B00ABOWEWW_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1

And the New York Times article on Dr. Derman’s book, where I first heard of it:

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/05/16/coloring-your-way-through-grief/?em_pos=small&emc=edit_hh_20160520&nl=well&nl_art=7&nlid=65386032&ref=headline&te=1&_r=0http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/05/16/coloring-your-way-through-grief/?em_pos=small&emc=edit_hh_20160520&nl=well&nl_art=7&nlid=65386032&ref=headline&te=1&_r=0

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The National Alliance on Mental Illness  (NAMI) reports that 1 in 5 people suffers from a mental condition. I suspect the number is higher if we factor in how many people go through life suffering but never seeking help. 

Now is a good time to have that talk with your loved one or best friend, who you think has depression, an eating disorder, stress, or other mental health issues. Tell them of your concerns, encourage them to seek professional help, and even offer to accompany them on their first appointment. Fear of the unknown, denial, unsure of how to go about it, and other reasons are why people often hesitate to seek professional help. Occasionally, a patient will tell me they were afraid they would end up hospitalized if they told a professional how they were feeling. The only time we hospitalize anyone is when they are a danger to themselves, others, or gravely impaired. My goal is to keep you out of the hospital. 

NAMI has some great information on their website on what the warning signs are of a mental condition that will benefit from professional help.

https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Know-the-Warning-Signs

I strongly encourage you to seek professional help for whatever is stressing you, holding you back, or causing you emotional/psychological distress. It might not be as bad as you think–a few sessions with a trained professional can put you back on track, resolve issues, ease your mind, and free you of long standing internal (or external with others) conflict.

Please feel free to give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may be of assistance to you. Mental Health Awareness Month is a great time to get started.

See Dr. Marion’s blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: May is Mental Health Awareness Month

Often couples come to therapy seeking help with either fixing their relationship or deciding whether or not to end it. Sometimes one of them will insist it is all the other person’s fault and spend every session deflecting and blaming while refusing to look at themselves. Interestingly, it is usually the one who has done the most harm. If things escalate to divorce that same person will increasingly involve the children with no regard to their welfare. I have even seen cases where the person who had no relationship with the family dog fights for custody of it.

A divorce from a narcissist can bring out more of their sadistic and selfish side. And to make matters worse, if there are children involved, the battles continue even after the divorce. They withhold money, don’t communicate, and blame the other parent.

It is as if you are divorced TO them instead of FROM them.

If you are in a marriage or relationship (or divorce) with a narcissist, consider seeking professional help for yourself. They know how to get under your skin and hit you where it hurts. Supportive psychotherapy can help you find ways to better manage the turmoil and enable you to take control and finally have the upper hand. Please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I can be of assistance to you.

There’s a nice New York Times article on divorcing a narcissist found here: ARTICLE

And a good book entitled: “Will I Ever Be Free of You?”

The National Eating Disorders Association has a nice little online screener that you can take to help you gauge where you are at. It’s free and you can take it in under 2 minutes (I did).

If you think or you have been told by concerned friends and family that you might have an ED or a problem with food, eating, and body image, take the quiz. What is there is lose? If you have an ED you could be saving your own life by identifying it, getting treatment, and finally not having to worry and obsess about every little thing you eat (or don’t eat), how many calories you burned, purging (if you do), or how fat you feel. Treatment won’t get you fat or take away your control; an ED will though. And of all the mental disorders, Eating Disorders are the most deadly -yes, that’s right, more people die from EDs than from depression. So please, take a few moments to take the screener and if you need help GET IT.  I know about the fear-I had it too, but the fear and burden of having to keep doing what I was doing was wearing me out. You end up with having no life, but plenty of stress and worry about food, exercise, and body image. Give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I might help you free yourself from the ED and live a healthy and happier life. If I recovered, so can you.

DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295

The free online screener can be found here: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/online-eating-disorder-screeninghttp://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/online-eating-disorder-screening

No one really likes to think about what may happen at the end of their life, much less talk to anyone about it. The unfortunate thing is that many people worry about what will happen to them but don’t talk or do anything about it. In reality, if we talk about our fears, our hopes, and our end of life care wishes, we will most likely feel better, and just as importantly, will have made known what we want for ourselves for when that time comes. Sharing that information with loved ones can be a great help to them. Individuals who have to make end of life health care decisions for loved ones often feel guilty and burdened over having to make decisions that they are not sure are in line with what their loved one’s wishes are.

For years I have recommended Mandala Coloring books to patients. The benefits of coloring in adult coloring books was highlighted in a recent article in the New York Times. One doesn’t have to be an artist to do it.  In my years of working in Psychiatric units and hospitals. I saw first hand the benefits of Art Therapy with even the most disturbed patient.

If you think about some of your childhood activities, or those of your own children- coloring, drawing, and creative arts were, or are, very likely a big part of childhood. Do you or did you ever color with your children? Try it-it’s fun and can be relaxing. Often in a child assessment, I will ask the child to draw me a picture of their family and/or their home (which usually means they will ask me to draw mine too). It is enjoyable, therapeutic, and can be a valuable addition to an assessment. Children usually enjoy coloring and drawing and I think many adults would too, if they tried it. Two books I recommend are “Color Me Calm” and “Enchanted Forest,” (see below).

In addition to coloring books, I have recently started recommending that patients draw and doodle-specifically, that they try Zentangle. There are many good books, hundreds of videos, and classes one can take. The book I like at the moment is shown below. But go to the local bookstore or online to check out the wide range of coloring and Zentangle books that are available.  Get yourself some good coloring pencils and pens, and get started.

Read more at the New York Times

If you suffer from anxiety, you may be interested in hearing about a study conducted at the University of Exeter on the effects of looking at pictures of people being loved and cared for upon the brain’s reaction to pictures of threatening or anxiety inducing situations. They found that when subjects in the study viewed the positive images, they did not react to the negative images.

This finding is interesting because practically speaking, if you suffer from anxiety, a simple and inexpensive intervention to introduce into your self-soothing repertoire is to keep a number of pictures on your phone or bookmarked in your browser of people being loved and cared for. I intend to recommend this for patients with anxiety, stress, and PTSD. It is a simple thing to incorporate into any treatment and self-soothing routine.

Think about when you are waiting to see the dentist or preparing to undergo a medical procedure, or are just experiencing a lot of stress–how simple is it to pull out your phone and browse through some positive images? Paired with breathing exercises, mindfulness, and positive self-talk, this combination will very likely help alleviate anxiety and reduce stress.

If you are suffering from anxiety or having issues with stress management, please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may be of assistance to you.

To see a summary of the study, go here: http://www.exeter.ac.uk/news/featurednews/title_420975_en.html

See Dr. Marion’s blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: 5 Ways to Cope With Anxiety

National Eating Disorder Awareness week seemed like an ideal time for me to write this blog. Back in the early 1990s I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. I was 79 pounds and on the edge of existence. I knew I was too thin, but I liked it. I was the clinical supervisor of a large social service agency in California, and there I was, suffering from an ED. I had dabbled in Bulimia in my late teens, and had been a compulsive, emotional eater in my childhood. In fact, at age 12 I weighed 187 pounds. I know what I weighed because one Saturday that Summer my Uncle took me, my sisters, and cousins to Keansburg, NJ where there was a performer on the boardwalk who would guess your weight. If he got it wrong you won a prize. Well in my case, he got it wrong–way wrong. I did not look my weight. When I stepped on the scale there were gasps from the crowd and triumphant laughs from my relatives. I fooled him and I won a prize.

By age 20, I weighed over 200 pounds. I cannot say how much over 200 because I was too embarrassed to get on a scale after I saw that number. For a few years (very few), I adopted a healthy lifestyle and began exercising and eating healthy. But then at age 24, my beloved first husband died of a rare form of leukemia. My life as I knew it was over. I was devastated. I spent some time healing and eventually met someone who I planned to spend my life with. I was still doing well with food and exercise, had graduated from college and was trying to decide if I still wanted to go to graduate school and become a psychologist. It had been my dream, but my boyfriend (who was the son of a prominent psychologist) was not in support and sadly the relationship became emotionally and then physically abusive. I knew I had to leave and finally did.

I was heartbroken and became afraid of relationships. I relocated to San Francisco where I had a fantastic job and a wonderful career. I lived alone after being booted from a roommate situation where I was kicked out because I was “too quiet.” I had a great apartment in the heart of the City and loved my work. I had returned to school and was completing my PhD in Psychology. But I had started restricting and my weight starting slipping. Finally, my supervisor, who recovered from an ED herself, confronted me about my weight and my ED. I had been in denial and was shocked but I promised I would do something. Of course, I did not. She confronted me again, and I had no choice. By this time, I was cold all of the time (which the cool climate of San Francisco did not help), my hair was falling out, and I hadn’t had my period in years. I sought treatment at a new hospital outpatient program. I was paired up with a Registered Dietitian who worked with me on my diet and exercise regimens.

The Program was experimental and did not involve therapy. I was threatened all of the time with hospitalization though. But was determined to stay out of the hospital. I had been walking miles and miles every day (my job involved traveling to different sites in the City). Although I wanted to get better and recover, I was absolutely terrified. I was being asked to eat new foods in quantities I was afraid of and was not supposed to exercise or walk as much as I had been. I had spent 15 years in Freudian psychoanalysis as a patient and although I had plenty of insight, I needed a lot of help changing my ways. Over a long period of time, I gradually recovered. I can’t say I always complied with treatment, but I definitely pushed myself.
I never intended to start treating EDs myself, but word got out and now I have the great privilege of assisting many people on their journey of recovery. I am happy to say that although I still sometimes hear the old scripts play through my head when I eat or exercise, I don’t listen. This was a hard won battle that I could have lost. I did develop osteoporosis, ammenorhea, and Raynaud’s Syndrome. Fortunately, I recovered from those too. Not everyone is as lucky as I was and I know it.
When you have an eating disorder, it takes over your life–with anorexia, your food choices became narrower and narrower, until there are only a few “safe” foods. Things like bananas and pizza can be scary. I remember when I was Bulimic, stuffing myself to the point where I felt I might explode. I was very afraid of having leftovers in the house. Eventually, the ED takes over your life, pushing out friends and family, and it gets harder and harder to do normal things like eat with friends, go to parties, and you schedule your life around unreasonable exercise regimens. You start to have a building anger and constant, gnawing anxiety. You can end up living in a box that gets smaller and smaller and you basically have no life.
If you have never had an eating disorder, it is hard to understand why the person can’t “just stop” or “just eat something.” You may think it’s “just a piece of bread” and not understand why the person doesn’t see that they look “fine” or “too thin” If someone told me I looked fine, to my addled mind it meant that I had gained weight, If they said I looked too thin, I liked that, but didn’t always believe them and then I worried about how I would stay too thin.
Having been on both ends of the weight spectrum, I can honestly say they both feel horrible. In getting away from thinking of food as calories or food as my friend or enemy, we can develop a healthy relationship with food that focuses on eating a balanced diet with healthy moderate exercise. The focus is on good health, not on numbers. I admit, I still don’t like getting weighed but I think many people don’t. I am no longer willing to restrict or binge and am very glad I am able to eat in restaurants and with friends without worrying about calories and weight gain or loss.
In my work with patients who have eating disorders, I use an individualized approach and work very hard to motivate, assist, coach, and believe in the person’s ability to recover.
If you or someone you know may have an eating disorder, talk to them today, get help today. Make that first phone call or send an email to reach out for help and information. If I could get better and recover, anyone can. If you would like to discuss how I may be of assistance to you please give me a call or send me an email and I will be happy to talk with you about your unique needs and what I can do to help.

A New York Times article reported that boredom (having nothing interesting to do), can be as stressful as having too much to do.

This is no surprise to me, as I have seen countless bored teens and adults who lack interesting pastimes and hobbies and who exhibit an array of stress-related symptoms that are unrelated to employment, financial hardship, relationship issues, or other factors.

So how do I help people who present with stress?
For those who are overwhelmed by home, job, and relationship responsibilities, I work on stress management techniques that target a range of symptoms and behaviors. I create what I call a “therapeutic toolbox” of stress management techniques to help the individual cope with the stress and its accompanying issues. We also examine the causes and sustaining factors that underlie the stress and what changes can be made to ensure a long term solution. Mindfulness meditation, self-hypnosis, relaxation training, Cognitive-Behavioral therapy (CBT), Solution Focused Therapy (SFT), moving meditation (such as Yoga,Tai Chi, Walking Meditation), reasonable exercise (especially walking), and many other tools and techniques are implemented. I tend to recommend a number of inexpensive apps that are also helpful.

For those who suffer from Boredom related stress, I work on helping the individual form a sense of purpose, set reasonable and attainable short and long term goals, and find meaning in the work they do as well as in their day to day activities.I focus on helping resolve sleep related issues (both insomnia and oversleeping). I utilize many of the same techniques listed above but with a different emphasis and approach.

I do not use a “cookie-cutter” approach with everyone who comes to therapy for stress management. I do use an individualized approach that is tailored to the particular needs of the person.: A Humanistic, Holistic, and comprehensive approach.
Let’s not forget that some stress is vital to our existence and necessary to our functioning. It is when there is an imbalance that stress management techniques need to be implemented for long term relief.

If you would like to learn more about how I would work with you and your unique set of circumstances and stressors, please give me a call or send me an email at 908-500-7295 or DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com If you would like to schedule an appointment to meet with me, please click on the blue “Book Now” button on the right.

Here is the link to the New York Times article: CLICK HERE

14 things you can do to cope and feel better

With the first day of Autumn, and soon after, the changing of clocks to Daylight Savings Time, Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) sets in for many people. I admit that I was one of them! Right around the first week or two of September, as the light starts to change and mornings and evenings are cooling off, I would start thinking about the forthcoming Winter. I am a Summer person by nature-love the heat and humidity, so the onset of cooler weather and shorter days would really affect me. I did not tolerate the cold well, so that didn’t help either.

While I wasn’t wild about the cool and often windy days of Autumn, I would think of Winter as a time of cold, dark, and snow that would inhibit my ability to be outdoors and even get to my office. Depressing! I would feel anxious and trapped during big storms.

Then something happened that changed everything for me. A few years back, there was a snowstorm that snowed me in for two weeks. And after that there were several more that kept me home for a few days at a time. It was a Winter of snow, ice, and more snow. Much like we seem to have every Winter now. I found myself doing things indoors that I would not be doing in Summer, when I am outdoors as often as possible. While snowed in, I caught up on indoor projects, cleaned out closets, read books I had been meaning to read, watched lots of movies with family, cooked and did some baking, slept more, relaxed. I didn’t have to be anywhere by a certain time and that felt almost like vacationing. I started to read about how people in cold weather countries coped. I noticed how Scandinavian people fill their dark and snowy winters with festive foods, light, and activity. I cultivated some indoor hobbies. In other words, I started to enjoy Winter. It’s still not my favorite season, but I do like so much about it. Here are some tips for coping with the Winter Blues:

The first few are very basic but if you are not physically comfortable you will have a hard time mentally feeling better.

1. Dress warmly-wear layers, gloves, hats, boots, whatever it takes to keep warm. Winter clothes can be fun and very stylish.

2. Eat Seasonally-Prepare foods that are in season and consider investing in a crock pot/slow cooker. They are great for making soups and stews. A bread machine is a nice thing to have too. Both fill the house with warm, delicious aromas. Winter foods are heartier but they don’t have to be unhealthy. For some healthy recipes and inspiration, go to Veg Recipes

3. Exercise. Ask your physician what type of exercise is safe and appropriate for you. I don’t mean you have to run marathons. Even just taking a walk has enormous benefits. Shopping malls are great places to walk indoors during cold and inclement weather.

4. Meditate. Meditation can help you manage your moods, stress, and anxiety. There are thousands of books, Youtube videos, and websites with information on how to meditate. I like the free resources psychologist Tara Brach provides on her website :www.TaraBrach.com. Did you know that Yoga, Tai Chi, and walking meditation are all moving forms of meditation?

5. Keep your work areas well lit. Light candles (safely) for atmosphere during meals, and consider getting a Light Box. (More about Light boxes later). If you have a fireplace or wood burning stove, build a fire. Make sure you have it cleaned and serviced annually so you can safely use it.

6. Before a snowstorm hits, stock up on books to read and movies to watch. Head over to your local library, add ebooks to your ebook reader, and make a list of shows and movies you would like to watch.

7. Cultivate some indoor hobbies. Being creative keeps you busy and distracted from watching the snow falling. If you are a golfer, practice putting. Learn to knit, crochet, paint, draw, occupy your time in creative ways.

8. Cultivate outdoor hobbies. With the proper clothing and equipment, for some people, cold weather hobbies can be quite enjoyable. Buddy up with cold weather enthusiasts. Find out what kind of hobbies or sports they enjoy in the cooler weather months. Find out what kind of Fall and Winter activities the local nature center has planned.

9. Grow some houseplants. Indoor gardening is a fun and relaxing hobby and there is something for everyone to grow. Not only do plants add to the decor, they also improve the air quality in your home. African violets are inexpensive, relatively easy to grow, and will bloom all year round. For free tips on growing them, visit the African Violet Society’s website at http://www.avsa.org Grow herbs on your windowsill and look through gardening catalogues for what you want to grow in Spring. If you really have a black thumb, consider getting an Aerogarden. You can grow flowers, herbs, even tomatoes in one. http://www.aerogarden.com

10. If possible, install bird feeders and watch the natural habitat outside your windows. In Autumn, find your local hawk watch and see the huge migration of hawks, eagles, and more. Learn to identify the birds and wildlife in your backyard. All it takes is a decent set of binoculars and a good guide book. All of the best wildlife and bird guides are also available as apps, complete with bird songs to help you ID them. After a snowstorm, observe the animal tracks in the snow. To learn more, join your local Audubon group. In New Jersey, it’s the New Jersey Audubon Society at http://www.njaudubon.org

11. Ask your physician to test you for vitamins D and B deficiencies. It’s a simple blood test and a surprising number of people are low in them.

12. Join something. A club, a society, a class. Cultivate new friends and new interests.

13. Visit indoors gardens. There may be a large indoor horticultural garden in your area. My favorite is Longwood Gardens (http://www.longwoodgardens.org). Horticultural societies often have annual shows with magnificent displays of tropical foliage.

14. Focus on what is good about Winter. Yes, I know it’s cold and dark, but there is a lot more to it than that. Celebrate the Autumn Equinox and Winter Solstice. Decorate and celebrate the holidays. Find the good and do your best to enjoy it. There is beauty in every season. You still may not be a fan of Winter, but at the very least you will be able to tolerate it and not sink into a four month funk.

Please see my next blog on Light Boxes. A light box can help ward off Winter Blues and is something I recommend for those with Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.).

The death by suicide of comedian Robin Williams has stunned and shocked his fans. It is tragic and sad.

How can this happen, that someone who apparently had so much to live for could kill himself? Material success does not provide emotional well-being.

While I don’t know the specifics of Robin Williams’ life and suicide, his media representative stated that he was severely depressed and had been in rehab for drug treatment.
What I do know is that depression is isolating-it creates a tunnel vision whereby you cannot see your options. Things look and feel bleak. Add drugs to the mix and then you have an even deeper hole to climb out of. My goal is to show a person their options-suicide is one option, but there are so many others. When you are worn down by a long term depression and tired of struggling it may seem like a good option, but it’s not.

If you are thinking of committing suicide or are having thoughts of harming yourself -Wait. Don’t act upon them. Pick up the phone and call someone-talk to a live person. If no one you know is available, then call the suicide prevention lifeline/hotline: 1-800-273-8255. (24/7)

You can also go to their website and chat with someone from 2pm to 2am.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Or
Call 911-they will send someone that will take you to a hospital and safe place.

I have worked with many people who have thought of suicide and some who have attempted it. What they have told me is that they are glad they did not carry it out or glad that they did not succeed. With professional help, they have managed to find peace and meaning in their lives, forgive themselves, forgive others, become free of substance abuse, and love and respect themselves.

In the depths of despair you may feel very alone and unable to see what your other options are. There is hope and you can feel better. There are people who care and will help you find your way out of the dark hole of depression. Suicide is not the answer.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has recommended that parents regularly read to their children from infancy onwards. The value of reading to children from birth is tremendous. Reading to children at a young age provides many benefits and is thought to have profound and lasting effects upon their cognitive development and later academic success.
Children’s books are available on a wide range of topics-from the fun and light hearted, to the vocabulary building, educational, and therapeutic. Aside from the obvious benefits of reading to them are the equally important of bonding, sharing quiet time together, and role modeling reading behavior to them.
To find good books to read with your child, check with the children’s section librarian of the local library, as well as online blogs and reviews. The New York Times has a weekly section of children’s book reviews and best sellers that is worth looking at. Also, your child’s school teacher may have some valuable suggestions.

See the NY Times article on the Academy’s recommendation here: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/24/us/pediatrics-group-to-recommend-reading-aloud-to-children-from-birth.html?_r=0

Other online sources:

The New York Public Library has a list of the top 100 children’s books of all time: http://www.nypl.org/childrens100

The International Reading Associations provides annual lists of Children and Teacher’s favorites: Recommended Children’s Reading

The National School Psychologists Association has a list of recommended books for children dealing with grief, loss, and trauma:http://www.nasponline.org/resources/crisis_safety/Books_for_Children_Dealing_With_Loss_or_Trauma.pdf

See Dr. Marion’s article on Toddler behavior: Toddler Temper Tantrums

May is Mental Heath month. During this time mental health professionals and agencies strive to educate the general public about mental health issues and treatment. The Mental Health America website has a few free online assessment tools that are helpful in identifying mental health issues that will benefit from treatment.

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/mental-health-screening-tools

The test results are not proof of a mental health issue but are indicators that you may benefit from speaking to a professional.

I may be reached at 908-500-7295 or DrMarionRollings@gmail.com to discuss how I may be of assistance to you.

Being a holistic oriented practitioner, I am always interested in safe, effective, natural adjunctives and alternatives to conventional treatments.

Aromatherapy is the use of the scents of essential oils of flowers, roots, leaves, and other plant parts to foster emotional and physical well being. The scents are diffused in an area through inexpensive aromatherapy diffusers. It is a natural, safe, and evidence based approach to anxiety and stress management. It can be a very helpful addition to traditional treatment. In my office I often use oils of Lavender and Geranium and occasionally I burn incense. They enhance the calm and comforting atmosphere of the office space. I also play soothing, natural music in my waiting room (from the NatureSpace app, which I highly recommend).

Sweet Orange Oil for anxiety reduction has been found effective at lowering anxiety levels. See this video by Dr. Gregor:
Sweet Orange Oil for anxiety

Other oils that have been associated with anxiety reduction are Lavender, Geranium, Ylang-ylang (a beautiful flower), Vanilla, and Bergamot  (which is actually what Earl Grey tea is scented with).

Aromatherapy Diffusers are available for home, car, and even to wear on a decorative chain.

Essential oil companies also sell blended oils for relaxation, anxiety reduction, and stress management. Go to a well stocked health food store and take a look at the aromatherapy section. There usually are test bottles you can sniff to see which ones may be most helpful to you.

Incense burning is another calming and stress relieving practice you may find helpful. Buy incense that is fair trade and from established reputable companies. Triloka is one company that is fair trade.

I am not suggesting anyone replace their medication or therapy sessions with aromatherapy but am suggesting it as a helpful addition to treatment.

Couples often come for marriage and relationship counseling when something has become broken in the relationship (such as communication) and/or /there has been at least one major stressor-it could be an affair, a financial issue with spending, child rearing disagreements, sexual issues, etc.
Usually one party feels “right” or sees him or herself as the “wronged one.” In the first session, as each partner explains their side of the story, there is often quite a lot of finger pointing and blaming. I listen carefully to what each has to say, observe their body language, and look beneath the surface for what is left unsaid .I pay a lot of attention to what is right with their relationship as well as what appears wrong. I usually will meet with each partner separately to hear the whole, unedited version of their story from each person’s perspective.
One of the key elements in therapy is to move beyond blame to responsibility. By that I mean to refocus the attention of each person from blaming someone else for their troubles back to their own behavior and how they can take responsibility for the problems in the relationship as well as responsibility for the healing of it.
This does not mean that the presenting problem is dismissed or minimized in any way. In fact, taking responsibility it is a key element in changing the unhealthy patterns and behaviors that led to the infidelity, excessive spending, etc. The person who had the affair or engaged in the excessive spending may be unwilling to take responsibility for their actions if their partner does not acknowledge theirs. In addition, it is always easier to identify and analyze what the other person is doing wrong as opposed to one’s own behavior.So moving past blame towards responsibility means that both parties accept that they have made mistakes (however major or minor they may be), and focus upon what they can each do to move past the issues towards a happy and healthier relationship.
Please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may be of assistance to you in resolving your marital or relationship issues.

I often receive phone calls from individuals who are either interested in starting therapy or have been told they should. First time callers usually ask “How does this work? How do I start?”
Let me start from the beginning to explain.

Obviously the first step is to contact a few therapists by phone or email. If a therapist does not respond to you in a timely manner, cross them off your list. If they are slow to respond now, you cannot be sure they will be responsive in a time of crisis or emergency (everyone I work with has my cell phone number for that very reason-you need to be able to reach your therapist in times of trouble).

Studies show that the most important element of positive therapeutic outcome is the therapeutic alliance or how comfortable you feel with your therapist. Believe it or not, it matters more than the therapist’s specific theoretical orientation (i.e., cognitive behavioral). If you do not feel comfortable with the therapist during your first phone contact or in the first session do not feel you are a good fit, find another therapist. Psychotherapy is too important to waste time and money with a therapist you are not comfortable with.

The initial consultation is one hour (60 minutes). Sessions after that can be 45 or 60 minutes and that is up to you. Sessions may be scheduled weekly, biweekly, monthly, or as needed. I will make a recommendation but it is purely the patient’s decision.

I am often asked to estimate how long treatment will take. While that is difficult to say, I will say that for some issues like eating disorders, treatment is going to take a lot of time and work. An anxiety disorder will take fewer sessions. Behavioral problems with children might only take a few sessions. Infidelity-no quick fix, but we aren’t looking at years of therapy. It all depends upon the severity of the problem and how committed you are to working on it. I give 100 percent and will do all I can to assist you. I do not ever try to keep people in therapy when they do not need to be there or do not want to be there.

I utilize what I call the Dentist Model of treatment. Initially, you come to my office with a presenting problem. I learn about you, your relevant history, and your world. During the course of therapy, we resolve the issues that brought you to treatment and therapy concludes. Thereafter, you make an appointment when there is a problem, just as you would would with the dentist when you have a toothache or cavity. This works quite well because even if I do not see you for a few years, I do remember you, your history, and our work together. You will not have to start from the beginning. We can jump right in and work on your presenting problem without having to go over your history.

Life is messy-if it took time for the presenting problem to develop, it may take some time to resolve it. Having patience with the process is very important, and understanding that progress with long standing issues can be a slow climb to the top that is sometimes riddled with ups and downs. My role as psychotherapist is to keep you on the right track heading in a positive direction while getting you off the volatile emotional roller coaster. I view it as a collaborative effort.

Some therapists are less talkative then others. I will adjust myself to whatever your needs are, However, especially in the first session, I will not just sit there and wait for you or your child to talk. If you don’t talk, I will. This is not a chess match and I take very seriously the importance of helping you resolve whatever has brought you to therapy.

Scheduling therapy sessions is flexible and open ended. I understand that finances, work, and other things play a part in how often you may come to therapy. There is no pressure from me on how frequent you have appointments. I will make my recommendation and work with what ever you choose.

I will work with you to develop a therapeutic work box of tools to help you cope and to ensure a more rapid and lasting recovery from your presenting problem.
Immediate relief in the first session is not always possible but I will do my utmost to ensure you leave the first session with some relief as well as a plan for long term success.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be very disruptive to one’s daily life. The impact upon one’s job, relationships and family can range from mild to severe.

I often see children as well as adults who are struggling with the symptoms of this disorder.
While medication is frequently prescribed and can be helpful, by itself it will not provide long term, lasting relief from symptoms.

My own approach to treatment depends upon how severe are the symptoms and how much they are interfering with an individual’s functioning. For the more severe, a combination of medication and cognitive-behavioral (CBT) and Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) are the way to go, with the eventual goal of coming off medication.

For those who are not as severe, CBT and SFT alone are highly effective.

See the New York Times article on this.

With college students back to their dorms and children and adolescents back to school, the school year has officially started.

In a few weeks I will start receiving calls from concerned parents, school guidance counselors, and a few college students about emerging issues with school related matters such as attendance, school and class anxieties, truancy, and school refusal. There will also be a few calls about possible eating disorders.

Teachers and teacher aides also come to therapy when they seek assistance dealing with difficult colleagues, principals, administrators, challenging students, and demanding parents. Teachers, by the way, are great in therapy-they are so committed to being their best at what they do and improving themselves.

So what is the difference between school refusal and truancy? In the eyes of the school, not much, since in both cases the end result is that the child does not attend school. With truancy, it is because the adolescent does not like school, may be angry, and is adverse to attending. Usually, there is some kind of issue with either the school, a teacher, a classmate, or a dislike for school work (which often is due to feelings of inadequacy or boredom). Truancy is a form of acting out behavior which is a red flag for an underlying issue. At times, truancy is a sign of problems in the home. When an adolescent cuts class or skips school, it is usually without the parents’ knowledge and consent. They may be abusing drugs, suffering from an eating disorder ( which makes lunch time unbearable), or socializing with the wrong crowd of friends.

With school refusal, the reason the child does not attend school is typically due to fear of some aspect of school or fear of leaving a parent. It may be bullying, fear of failure, fear of any number of things associated with school, or fear of being away from a parent during school hours. Often in the latter case, the child has some fears for the parent’s or his/her own wellbeing and safety. Occasionally, a child has an anxiety disorder or other issue that precludes their attending school that is unrelated to the above. For example, a child with claustrophobia or an eating disorder may avoid school. School refusal is frequently associated with physical symptoms such as stomach aches, headaches, etc., along with chronic tardiness, leaving school early, and a high number of absences. When children are in the midst of their parents’ divorce, they may have issues with school attendance that are symptomatic of their emotional turmoil from the impending divorce.

The good news for truancy, school refusal, child and adolescent anxieties, and eating disorders is that with the help of a professional, the issues can be resolved, I often work with the family and the school to make special arrangements that will enable the child to comfortably return to class. In the case of truancy, it is important to listen to the adolescents concerns and work with them in addressing what underlies the truancy.

In the case of divorcing parents, it is essential that the child’s emotional needs are addressed to facilitate a comfortable return to school. Since children cannot always express those needs in words it comes out in their behavior. Therapy is very effective in helping children through their parents’ divorce.

If your child or adolescent is showing signs of school refusal, anxiety, or truancy, please give me a call or send me an email to discuss how I may be of assistance. 908-500-7295

Yes, absolutely. But it does depend upon a few very important factors.

1. Remorse from the one who had the affair

2. Re-establishment of Trust.

3. Transparency which is essential to re-establish trust

4. Commitment to the process of healing as guided by Marriage Counseling & Psychotherapy

5. Patience with the process to allow long term healing and growth both individually and for the marriage.

Here is a link to a nice little New York Times article on this topic:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/11/booming/when-cheatings-the-issue-remorse-helps.html

Many people come for counseling for career and job related stress management.
Aside from teaching them stress management, I also help them examine whether the job or career they have is a good fit and what to do if it isn’t.

We spend about a third of our time working. Many people I know spend even more time than that. Life is too short to spend all that time doing something that you don’t like or in a place you are uncomfortable.

This a great article on how to find work you love and having a career path that is fulfilling

http://www.dailygood.org/story/499/6-ways-to-find-work-you-love-roman-krznaric/

See our article on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Do You Hate Your Job?

Anger Management Training is very helpful for individuals who feel they need to learn how to best manage their anger and negative emotions. I also provide Court-Mandated Anger Management.

If you have been ordered by the Court or advised by your attorney to seek Anger Management Training, it is important to comply with the Court order as soon as possible. I provide effective Anger Management Training in a private and individual setting (not in groups). that fully satisfies the requirements of the Court Order. As required, letters to the Court and/or your probation officer are provided with your authorization.

I can usually schedule you for your first appointment and have your documentation to the court or probation officier the same week you call me for your appointment.

Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Often I receive calls from either individuals looking for anger management classes or a court law clerk requesting information on behalf of a judge. I thought it might be helpful to provide an informational synopsis of how I do anger management. I do a great deal of anger management training for people who are either ordered by the Court or self-referred because they want to feel better about how they manage their emotions. Here is the summary.

Court Mandated Anger Management Training

Anger management training will consist of:
-An assessment of your anger as well as your strengths, and a psychological assessment that may include a quantitative anger measure
-Regular session attendance
-Therapeutic interventions include: Cognitive Behavioral Theray (CBT) , Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) , Glasser’s Control Theory, and – Narrative Therapy.

The number of sessions will be determined by:
1. If court ordered, minimally, what the court requires
2. Your progress in treatment
3. The average course of anger management is 6-12 sessions. Cancelled sessions do not count and if they are not cancelled with 24 hours notice, you will be responsible for the session fee. No exceptions.
4. Dr. Rollings works in full compliance with the Court and the Judge’s orders. Anger Management Training is provided one on one, not in groups, and not in anger management classes.

Your initial session will include:
-Assessment of your anger as well as of your strengths
-Assessment of any co-existing alcohol or drug issues
-Assessment of the role alcohol or drugs have played in the incident

In Anger Management Training, you will learn to:
-Accept responsibility for your behavior no matter what anyone else has done
-Understand what underlies your anger
-Become aware of what triggers your anger
-Become aware of the negative patterns you are in with others
-Adopt more functional patterns of behavior, thought, and speech
-Understand the difference between being assertive and acting angry
-Use practical and effective techniques to resolve conflict
-Learn the difference between reacting and responding and how to become less reactive
-Use Mindfulness meditation and Relaxation techniques
-Learn to use personal time outs effectively
-Commit to change what you can change and accept that you cannot control others
-Choose to be in control of my behavior and thoughts in any given situation no matter how provocative
-Increase self-control and self-awareness.
-Gain awareness of the story you are telling yourself about any given situation and how it affects what you think, how you feel, and what you do (your behavior)
-Where applicable, become aware of the impact and effects our alcohol and/or substance use have upon your behavior, relationships, and life.

In Summary, you will learn effective coping strategies and techniques that you will find helpful in dealing with all types of situations and with all kinds of people.

For further information, please feel free to call or email me. DrMarion@DrMarionRollings.com or 908-500-7295

About this time of year, I begin receiving phone calls from college students who are either freshmen entering college for their first semester away from home, or upper classmen, who are struggling with anxiety and/or depressed moods over having to return to college. Eating disorders are also prevalent and often the pressures of going to college where there are overwhelming food choices and none of the comforts of home creates a great deal of anxiety for the student. Often, a concerned Mom will make the initial call to me for assistance.

Because time is of the essence, typically, we try to get in as many sessions as are needed and are possible before the student leaves for school. Then I either coordinate with a therapist at the college counseling center or continue treatment with the student myself whenever they have the opportunity to be home. Phone sessions are also possible for those who are a long distance away.

The adjustment to college and pressures experienced by college students today lead many to seek counseling and psychotherapy. Treatment is highly effective and concerned parents should waste no time in talking with their sons and daughters about options for therapy.

Please contact me for further information regarding therapy options for a college student.

For those who have been diagnosed with a mental disorder such as psychosis or schizophrenia, treatment is long term and often fraught with ups and downs as medications are adjusted or changed and life stressors affect the course of treatment.

Supportive psychotherapy combined with the help of a good psychiatrist are essential components to long term stability.

The challenges you face with having a mental illness can be difficult for even the most well intended family and friends to understand. Psychotherapy can help you stay grounded, out of the hospital, and help you manage your illness in the most optimal way. With your consent, I will collaborate with your other treatment providers to ensure your treatment is coordinated and optimized to your particular needs..

Please contact me to discuss how I may be of assistance to you in the recovery from and management of a mental illness.

I have had the privilege of serving the LGBTQ+ community for many years with counseling and psychotherapy for indivduals and couples. I worked for several years in San Francisco where I had the opportunity to work in the gay community with individuals and couples. Although this is an exciting time for LGBTQ+ rights, more and more couples and families are coming for help with their blended families and the stressors of everyday family life.

Supportive psychotherapy for those who are in the process of gender change can be very helpful. It is an exciting time that is fraught with social, emotional, and psychological adjustments for both you and your loved ones.

Important Note: I am strongly against any “therapy” that seeks to change a person’s sexual orientation or in any way pathologizes homosexual, bisexual, asexual, or transsexual behavior or orientation. Therapy with the goal of changing one’s orientation can be very harmful and fortunately in some states is now illegal.The goal of therapy is to help you BE who you are-not change it.

I fully support gender reassignment and psychotherapy.

Please contact me to discuss how I may best be of assistance to you and your loved ones.

Post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD can greatly interfere with one’s daily functioning. Left untreated, PTSD can become chronic. Anxiety, emotional turmoil, agitation, and nightmares are very disruptive and often lead to feelings of helplessness and depression. Fortunately, effective treatment is available.

If you believe you or a loved one is suffering from PTSD, schedule an appointment for an assessment and treatment plan. I will be happy to discuss how we can work together to help you heal from the trauma you have suffered.

I work with many children, adolescents, and families on a wide range of issues that include the following:

• Attention Deficit Disorders (ADD, ADHD)
• School Refusal (i.e., refusing to go to school)
• Noncompliance with house rules
• Getting homework completed
• Refusing to sleep in own bed
• Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Phobias
• Oppositional Defiant disorder
• Conduct Disorder
• Social anxiety & shyness
• Adjustment Disorders
• Childhood Depression
• Behavioral Disorders
• Eating Disorders & weight issues
• Reactions to and difficulty adjusting to parents’ divorce
• Teenage Substance & Alcohol Abuse
• Teenage Sexual Promiscuity
• Grief and Bereavement
• Truancy
• Problems with Peers at School
• Difficulty Making & Keeping Friends
• Child Gender Identity Issues

and more. With your permission, I can intervene with the school to ensure your child’s needs are addressed and frequently help resolve disciplinary matters with schools.

Please contact me to discuss how I may best be of assistance to you and your child.

See my latest post on Children and Therapy on the Holistic Health Counseling Center website: Therapy for Children

Lacking confidence and having low self-esteem can lead to problems in school, at home, at work, and with friends. Therapy can be very beneficial for children and adolescents and it is especially important to intervene when they appear to be struggling. Adults benefit from therapy in that when we feel more confident and better about ourselves, it shows in how we behave at work, school, with family, and friends.

Feeling a good sense of self-worth means we value and appreciate who we are, which translates into more confident and successful behavior in our relationships, at work, and in our lives.

Please call me to discuss how I will work with you or your child on building confidence and positive self esteem.

Infidelity has a huge impact on a marriage. The person who had the affair wants things to be less volatile and may wish to work on the marriage. Their partner may have a great deal of insecurity and hurt. Trust is shattered and communication is often emotional and difficult. In counseling, a couple can learn from past mistakes, heal, and move forward together in a positive and rejuvenated relationship. Healing takes time but is possible.

The emotional fallout after the discovery of an affair can be a terrible roller coaster ride of mixed emotions such as hurt, anger, fear, confusion, and more.

Sometimes couples come to therapy feeling unsure that they even want to stay together.

With counseling, stability, healing, and sound decision making are possible. Please feel free to contact me to discuss how I would approach your specific issues.

Depression and depressed moods are experienced by everyone at some point in life. Sometimes there are events, relationships, or circumstances that cause one to feel depressed. Other times it seems hard to find a reason. To people on the outside, your life appears fine-your life is “great” yet you just feel tired, down, and can’t motivate yourself to do anything. If you are depressed you may find you are wanting to sleep more, eat more, and lack interest in participating in things you normally enjoy.

Depression can vary from an occasional blue day to days, weeks, and longer of feeling sad, unfocused, and unmotivated. People often come to therapy when they feel the depression is interfering too much with their lives and they just want to feel happy again.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (also known as SAD) is another common form of depression that is highly treatable.

I use a comprehensive and collaborative approach in treating depression that is tailored to the unique needs of each person. Please feel free to give me a call or send an email to discuss how I may be of assistance to you.

You can feel better and the sooner you start therapy, the sooner you will feel some relief.

Read Dr. Marion’s blog on the Holistic Health Counseling Center’s website: Are you Depressed?

With Summer finally here, schools are out, vacations begin, and the relaxed pace of the season chases away all of our Winter blues. With the damp and cool Spring behind us, most people are enjoying the longer days and warm weather. Right?

Well, not everyone. While it is true that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects more people in the Winter months (ninety percent of those with SAD), an estimated ten percent suffer during the sunny Summer months. Overall, SAD affects about 4-6 percent of the population-but I think it is more than that.

Characterized in Winter by depressed mood, lethargy, and often, weight gain, treatment typically consists of bright light therapy, vitamin D supplementation, exercise, psychotherapy, and for some, medication. I also recommend keeping your living and working spaces well lit, and generally creating an atmosphere of light and comfort with candles, flowers, music, and healthy eating. Exercise is extremely helpful (and is for all types of depression and anxiety)

With Summer SAD or Reverse SAD, the onset of longer days, rising temperatures, humidity, and outdoor activities in the blazing sun brings on a  depressed mood, anxiety, lethargy, and loss of appetite. Sleep patterns are often disrupted too.

Effective treatment for Summer SAD includes supportive psychotherapy to learn and enhance coping skills, exercise early or late in the day to avoid the bright sun and heat, and occasionally, medication. Many people find relief spending time indoors in air conditioned sanctuaries where the use of cool drinks, shaded windows, and indoor activities and exercise help them feel comfortable. Longer days often mean a disruption in eating patterns, so eating healthy is important. Planning activities and utilizing coping strategies helps to minimize the stress and anxiety often associated with Summer SAD.

With the help of a skilled psychologist, you or your loved one can learn how to not just endure but truly enjoy the Summer season. SAD is highly treatable and now is the time to kick those Summer Blues for good.